Life, Health & The Universe
Welcome to **Life, Health & The Universe**, the podcast dedicated to empowering women in their 40s and 50s to embrace a vibrant and meaningful life. Join us as we explore the intersection of health, wellness, and personal growth, offering insights and inspiration to help you navigate this transformative stage of life.
Each week, we dive into topics that matter most to you— from holistic health and nutrition to mindfulness and self-discovery. With expert interviews, relatable stories, and practical tips, we aim to inspire you to live your best life, cultivate deeper connections, and find purpose in every moment.
Whether you’re seeking to enhance your well-being, explore new passions, or simply find a supportive community, **Life, Health & The Universe** is here to guide you on your journey. Tune in and discover how to thrive in this exciting chapter of life!
Contact Nadine: https://lifehealththeuniverse.podcastpage.io/contact
Life, Health & The Universe
Healing with Family Constellations - Guide & Mentor, Marianne De Wolff
Let us know what you thought of this episode!
You can find Marianne's full profile in our Guest Directory
https://lifehealththeuniverse.podcastpage.io/person/marianne-de-wolff
In this thought-provoking episode, we delve deep into the journey of healing and self-discovery with our wonderful guest, Marianne de Wolff.
With years of experience across various modalities like Human Design, Soul Astrology, and Family Constellations, Marianne shares her compelling story of transformation following the loss of her father. This pivotal moment catalysed her inner healing journey, leading her to explore the interconnectedness of our experiences.
Throughout the discussion, Marianne illuminates how healing is less about fixing what's perceived as wrong and more about embracing all aspects of ourselves. The conversation highlights various tools, such as Human Design, that provide individuals with deeper insights into their motivations and emotional patterns, ultimately fostering self-acceptance. Marianne passionately discusses Family Constellations as a powerful therapeutic approach that reveals hidden dynamics within family systems, facilitating clarity and healing.
Listeners are invited to reflect on their own journeys, discovering how our experiences shape us and how we can navigate life's complexities with compassion and understanding.
Join us in exploring how our healing processes are interconnected and affect the broader community. This episode offers an empowering reminder that every step taken toward self-discovery is valuable. Gain insights that inspire personal transformation and encourage connection amid our shared human experiences.
We invite you to subscribe, share, and dive into the transformative world of healing, as together we illuminate pathways toward embracing our true selves.
Welcome to Life, health and the Universe, bringing you stories that connect us, preventative and holistic health practices to empower us and esoteric wisdom to enlighten us. We invite you to visit our website, where you can access the podcast, watch on YouTube and find all of our guests in the guest directory. Visit lifehealththeuniversepodcastpageio. Now let's get stuck into this week's episode. Today, we are joined by Marianne de Wolff, who's dialing in from the Netherlands today. Welcome, Marianne, it's good to have you here.
Speaker 2:Nice to be here.
Speaker 1:So quick intro. Since her late 20s, marianne has been on the path of inner healing and self-discovery. She's explored many different pathways in her pursuit to come back home to herself. Human design, gene keys, soul astrology and family constellations have brought her the deepest, the deepest experience and insight. So today, marianne feels passionate about contributing to a new world where each and every one of us is living our true selves, realizing that we are all interconnected, a world in which we serve the greater whole by each sharing our unique gifts. Marianne, that was a beautiful biography that you sent through, I really, and it's got so many things in it that we can talk about today. Really, and it's got so many things in it that we can talk about today. Welcome. Thank you so much for accepting the invite and joining me today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, thank you for inviting me, nadine. Yeah. I'm really happy to talk about these things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's totally like any chance. Any chance. So do you want to give us a little rundown? Any chance? So do you want to give us a little rundown? You've been on a voyage of self-discovery for some years, since your early 20s, which no doubt has had its twists and turns.
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely yeah.
Speaker 1:How can you describe how that? Can you remember how that first began to unfold for you, Can you?
Speaker 2:remember how that first began to unfold for you? Yes, yes, certainly. I think I've always felt a little bit lost on the earth and always trying to find some completion, you know, in a relationship, in things to do, and it never came about really. So in my I was young, you know, longing for Mr Right, and I think when I was 26, my father died, and I think a year before that I started my first therapy sessions and it was very much focused on inner healing and and I think that's really where it started and at the time I was still working with the airlines and flying around the world and but I I just felt a deep sense of loss within myself. So that was, for me, the drive to start searching and because my dad died, that was big, had a big, big impact and, um, and from then on, therapy became more intense and I started to look into different things and and what can I do to heal myself? And I stopped working with the airlines and then I became a massage therapist and started to work through the body to heal, and then I thought, oh well, that's not enough and people end up coming just for a massage. But I wanted to dive deeper and then I read a book, I think 30 years ago, maybe even a little bit more, and it was by Krishnamurti and the book was called you Are the World and it was, I think, my first big awakening moment, like every cell in my body just knew this is true.
Speaker 2:Everything I see is a project, is something I project outside. If I want something to complete me, it's a lack within me. So that's been the drive to, to connect with my true self, to find who am I really. And you know we're so focused in our personalities, which, of course, is normal. That's how we grow up and we need it. But how can we I don't want to say let go, but transform that within us and start to see life from a different perspective. And that's what helped me a lot is to see things from a bigger perspective, whether it's through soul astrology.
Speaker 2:Just learning about the path of the soul brings what happens in your life in a different perspective and it starts to make more sense. And it's just finding out that what happens, and no matter where you are or what's happening, that it's the right thing for you in that time in your life. And I always say you know, the soul sets the stage for our experiences, and that's not always easy for our personalities because it can create a lot of pain and hurt and drama our personalities, because it can create a lot of pain and hurt and drama, and and we definitely should embrace that and try to heal that. And, yeah, um, accepting I think acceptance is a big word, which is not always easy, because we have a very strong mind and we love the stories we tell ourselves, and so that's what took me there. And then I think in 2004,.
Speaker 2:Astrology has always been part of my life, you know, in my early 20s, I had my first reading and you know we're going back 35, 30, 40 years, 40? Oh gosh. There was 35, 30, 40 years, 40? Oh gosh, there was nothing. Gosh, there was nothing. You know, it was the notes in the supermarket and the brochure in the library and that's it. It was word of mouth. You know, we're so lucky to have internet and to be able to talk to you across the world. That's just just great, you know.
Speaker 2:But at the time, which was all also had its charm. It was small and local and uh, and, and doing uh, inner work and healing was really different from what it is now. So there, there's an evolution in everything and also in in consciousness, work and uh. And then new systems started to arrive, like evolutionary astrology, uh, human design and, a little bit later, the jinkies and and also family constellations. I think it's all about 20, 25 years ago. I feel that maybe a new kind of gate opened up and brought down these new systems to help us evolve and learn from it. So, yeah, so that was great to find those systems to work with, definitely yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:We've got a lot to talk about. So it's it's been a long, long journey, but it's. It's um, you know, yeah, picking up a lot of things, letting go of a lot of things, and and also learning to trust my inner voice and to and that's something that human design helps with greatly and family constellations to really trust my inner knowing and it's still, you know, it's an ongoing process. It always, yeah, something comes up and then, but to have the tools to work with it, it's just great, yeah, and also learning that work with is just great, yeah, and also learning that imperfection is very perfect. That's still a struggle sometimes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so it's like you said. It feels like there was a gateway that opened up and gradually there's more and more people talking about this stuff and and obviously with the introduction of the internet, um it the like that growth is just got bigger and bigger and bigger and probably with people being at home during that period of time in you know, when we were locked down in COVID probably even more expansion and more availability of information and more people talking about all of that stuff.
Speaker 1:Um but um, and there's, there seems to be a real connection for many people about this um, healing and trauma, and that's being spoken about a lot more now than it was like even five. Well, in my world anyway, five or 10 years ago, you know you had had the odd person that you might know that was going to therapy, but now it's like quite common to hear people talking about processing their, their trauma and healing themselves. I know that you said that when you were in your 20s. Um, like you started to see a therapist, just like the year before your dad passed away. Yes, um, what do you mind me asking? Like what? What was it that kind of said to you? I need to talk to someone about what's going on?
Speaker 2:I was struggling with my relationships you know, totally, it was mostly relationships.
Speaker 2:I think that was the first big struggle was relationships and finding the wrong men, which were, of course, perfectly right for me, but they were either married, unavailable or whatever. And then I thought, ok, why? I think from an early age I already had big questions like why, what's heaven? Like why are we here? What is eternity, what is so?
Speaker 2:I feel that people who really want to bring something new to the world and I'm glad there are so many people, but you have the seed in your soul, I would say, to bring that transformation and then automatically, uh, you go and find help or and right now it's easier because you know, when you just google I don't know relationship problems or challenges there are thousands of methods and therapies and books you can read and you know that's great.
Speaker 2:I think that's great because it's so helpful. I think is, if we really want to make a shift in the world, we really need to, uh, change our perspective and and and and heal and not just change. But I always say there's a difference between change and transformation and, uh, you know, changes, like I put a different color on the wall and buy some new furniture, and for me transformation is really, you know, the house is coming down and you build a new house. That's transformation, and I think that that's the time we're living in. It's this huge paradigm shift, and so it's exciting times to be alive and, yeah, who knows where it will take us? Yeah, and then it's great that we have systems that can help us in this transformation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Amidst your like, we're going to get stuck. I want to ask you some questions about human design, because we're in a human design community together, and the Gene Keys, because I've worked with the Gene Keys as well. Yeah, and the Family Constellations, which I have really nothing, know nothing about, but I've heard you mention it in the group calls that we're on, yeah, and I've just. What was I going to say? I've forgotten. Oh, I know, I know, I know. So in your journey with these particular modalities, did you come to them thinking I could do that as a um to help me with my job, my role, my um service, my service to others?
Speaker 2:okay, yeah no, both, because, um, yeah, I think that's that's important you have to get to know the system yourself and and live through it and work with it for yourself in order to be able to work with it for other people. And and at first, you know, I think it was in, I believe, in 2004, that I first came in touch with human design.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's quite a while ago.
Speaker 2:That's a long time ago and I remember it was a lecture and it was an all-day event and I think there were about 80 people listening there in the lecture, attending the lecture, and what stood out for me the most is that you know, in human design we have the different types. You know about that. We have the reflector and the projector and the generators, manifesting generators and the manifestors, and what she did she asked every type to stand together in it was a big room, to come together and stand in with their own group. It was amazing. We know about generators they have this sacral energy and they have this buzz it I could hear the buzz. When you put all those generators together, it's you can hear the buzz and then you can. I could clearly feel and see that the others didn't have that. Wow.
Speaker 2:So that was my first and you know those uh experiences. They stay, they last, and because they're, I sense it in my body and I never forgot it and I never forgot how powerful that was. So that was, you could say, the first. It's not a family constellation, but you can put everything in a constellation. It was my first experience with a human design constellation and it was amazing and it was just type, so no, exploring the body graph or whatever. So that made a lot of uh, that had a big impression on me, and then I thought, okay, great.
Speaker 2:And then I thought, well, at the time I thought I had a hard time with labels, I still have a hard time with labels, I still have a hard time with labeling things and people. So I thought, yeah, but you cannot, you know, divide humanity in five types. That's stupid. But you know, slowly it kept returning, you know, and I think it's only, I think, before COVID that I started to come back to it. In the meantime, I also discovered jinkies, and longer before that, I worked with astrology and family constellations and you know they're amazing tools, it's. You know, every time I think, oh gosh, this is magic, how does it happen? And you can't, you know, you can't make it up, which I like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah really interesting how you can see that interconnectedness Like you talked about in your biography. You talked about, you know, interconnectedness of all things and you start to just see it more and more. You see it in life, you hear it in people's stories. I mean, this is one of the things that I think is really fascinating about the people I talk to. You know we have these connections of stories. We recognize things in each other and in systems, and I don't you don't like labeling things. I don't like calling human design a system. It makes it sound so boring what is it a method?
Speaker 1:let's come up with something better. An amazing thing, yeah, um yeah so, yeah, it's. It's great to have um an understanding of those different things and to be able to draw on them, although some people like to be purists and just hang in one area. Do you think that has anything to do with your design?
Speaker 2:Well, maybe, yeah, it's sad that a manifesting generator just likes to do lots of different things, which is true, but again, you know, it's how we're wired and it's how we're supposed to do things in life, and I can sometimes envy people who have the ability to dive so deep and stay with one thing thing, and then it becomes you, it becomes your life, and I have this big toolbox that I, you know, take things from when I need them, and so it all has a different. Uh, how do you say the charm to it? We're all wired differently and that's how you know. That's the nicest thing about humanity, isn't it About being human, that we're all so different? Yes, and yeah, and the interconnectedness you know, even now, and that started to, you know, those are all gateways. I feel that started up along in the past are all gateways. I feel that started up along in the past. Well, maybe 50 years that has it has really taken on a different. How do you say that? A different, uh, I'm looking for the right word.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure. Uh, no, it has taken on a whole different flavor. Flavor no, let's forget about it.
Speaker 1:It took a big leap. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's what.
Speaker 1:I was looking for Momentum. It's got to gain momentum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you know, when you look back, maybe even when I was younger in the 60s and before that, all you knew was, oh, we had newspapers. So, okay, before that it was the village and the street where you lived, and then it was the city, and then it was your country, and now it's the whole world. So if you speak about interconnectedness, that's an evolution that we've seen happening over the past. What is it? 60 years, maybe 70 years. So if you talk about interconnectedness and even the internet, you know inventions like that, new things coming in, showing us that we are connected and it's easier to connect. And even with a simple thing as COVID, that went around the world like crazy, we connected. You know, we try to set boundaries and borders, but energetically it's no use.
Speaker 1:It's there anyway what do you think about this idea that we're I mean you may not have heard this, but I reckon you probably would that we're on this kind of journey and it's and it's all part of I I've never read joseph campbell's the hero's journey, but this idea that we're kind of on this journey where we are born and we have our soul and we're going along this path, but that it would be kind of boring if we knew what was going to happen in the end.
Speaker 1:And so we have to have this kind of adventure of all these different life experiences and that we actually choose those life experiences as part of our expression have you.
Speaker 2:Definitely At a soul level, because you know there are really experiences that you and I wouldn't choose in our lives.
Speaker 2:A lot of people go through horrible stuff and things and I truly believe from a bigger perspective, it's meant to be, but from a human perspective, it's horrible.
Speaker 2:I think what's needed is a lot of compassion and support when you know people, people when that happens and so that they can heal. And uh, and I'm so happy there are so many modalities around that can help you heal, because it is a human experience and, um, yeah, it can be very intense for a lot of people and I believe you had your share, I had my share and in the end, if you can look at it from a perspective that says, okay, if this is meant to happen in my life, I always say there's one common. How do you say that there's one common factor and there's one common denominator in my life? It's me. So, everywhere I go and every experience that I have that I'm a part of, I can shift my perspective and I can choose how I deal with that, and that took me a long time. I mean, we're all caught up in our personalities and this sense of separation that we have because you are there and I am here.
Speaker 2:But you know, that's the only thing that we can say. Okay, that's kind of separate. You have your body and I have mine. But emotions, thoughts, energy, it cannot be defined, it's in the ether, it's around us and yeah, so, yeah, so it's one big energy field, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, Can you talk? I'm going to get to the family constellations bit but I'm kind of dragging it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's a huge part. Of it too is one energy field.
Speaker 1:Can you talk a little bit about what healing means, because I think a lot of people, um well, and myself included, um, have you know, think of this idea of healing is like I don't know, there's something wrong with you and you need to make it better yeah. No, I don't believe that it's um I'm getting better at not not believing that, but I think that that would be, common, it's this yeah, there's something wrong yeah, or how do I fix it? That kind of?
Speaker 2:oh, yeah, I know, yeah, how do I fix? Yeah, I know that feeling too. You know it has to be different or better, or, but I've been on the path for so long. There's no end to it. And if you want to, yeah, it becomes easier, maybe, um, I think yeah, healing is is for me, a deep acceptance of what is, and Family Constellations is one of the tools that can really help you release old baggage.
Speaker 2:That maybe you're carrying and it's not even yours to carry. So I think that's what healing is deep acceptance and making a different choice, because we're getting triggered. We have these old traumas, we have these old beliefs and, yeah, you have a choice. You know, at a certain time you find there is an inner perceiver that can sort of watch this movie and say, okay to witness it, and not get so caught up anymore in the storyline, because that's the mind. You know, the mind can repeat the story over and over, and, over and over again. So at a certain time and that's also human design is very helpful the mind is not a decision making tool and we use it as a decision making tool.
Speaker 2:And of course, our whole life is a story. In the end, you know, our whole life is story and your story is different from mine. And do we believe the story or do we make a different choice? And in the end we have a choice who do we want to be in this world? And that's a path. You know I don't believe in quick fixes. That's a path, you know I don't believe in quick fixes or you really have to dare to dive deep inside yourself and then you find a place within yourself. That's where there's peace and there's love, and that's a place you can choose in yourself. And then, within this big field, you know, there's your story or my story, or, um, yeah, does that make sense?
Speaker 1:yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, I was gonna ask. I actually was gonna ask about family constellations, but then something came up and when you were talking about you know we choose what to believe and I wonder what your experience with human design and potentially the gene keys as well? My experience is I'm still quite new to human design, like within the first couple of years. And when I got my body graph, my chart, I looked at it and I knew it was me. And when I read about the different gates and channels, I know it's me, but I'm kind of at a point where and the same with the gene keys as well it's like I'm definitely getting more connected with, I've recognized those things and how they play out in my life.
Speaker 1:But for the human design especially, like I know it's me, but I'm kind of like, am I actually embodying those things? And there's that whole element of the conditioning, right, what's mine and what isn't? How has that played out for you? Like when it comes to you know, when you were saying you choose your perspective on things and you choose, you know, path, you, you go in when you start to become more aware of, you know the, the, the, I guess the, the illusion of, of life, yeah, and how you can have that kind of outward view. How do you figure out, or like, how easy have you found it to live the person you truly are? Not easy, like if you see it in your human design chart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, just a simple example. In human design we have a defined or an undefined or open emotional center, and it's said that when it's undefined or open, you take in the emotions from other people and you even, you know make them bigger, you reflect them in a stronger way than they are. I've always been surrounded. All the men in my life, starting with my dad, have defined emotional centers. So there's a lesson for me there, and what I know is that it's easy to take in the emotions of other people, but the moment and then to say, yeah, but they're not mine, they're yours, that's easy. But it can also become a kind of spiritual bypassing, because we have our beliefs and, of course, there are emotions attached to it, and so I always feel that when it stays in me, when I can't let go of it or my mind keeps making stories around it, I can say, oh well, nadine, they're yours. No, it's in my system and it's playing out in my body, so I have to deal with it. And does it matter really? So if we are a collective and if we are to heal the collective because that's also what it's about it starts with us, but it has an effect on the collective, so it doesn't matter if I do it and clear out the emotion. I think the biggest challenge is to not always say it's mine, it's my emotion, it's mine, no, it's an emotion. So to neutralize it a little bit.
Speaker 2:And of course there are emotions. And then we come to family constellations. They're genetically imprinted, which is also Jinkies and human design. It's the genetics. Again, we're not separate from our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents, the whole lineage, all the ancestors that came before us. We are connecting, the whole lineage, all the ancestors that came before us. We're connecting. So of course they're part of their behavior or belief systems that are genetically imprinted in us. I think that's yeah. For me that makes so much sense.
Speaker 1:I think one of the things that I found quite helpful as well is when because we can look at our um chart and we can read the kind of the, the darker aspect or the shadow aspect, or we can recognize that at first when we see, when we see or read anything about it um, yeah, but that that we have, that. When you're talking about that choice, it's like we have the choice to express that energy or that genetic makeup in a different way. Um, yeah, so if we're not yeah.
Speaker 1:So when we're, when we kind of can see those things playing out, that um yeah, often they can be sort of low energy um like fear victimization um anger, those kind of but they're all you know, and that's what I like about gene keys.
Speaker 2:Of course, we have the shadow. The shadow, the gift and the divine essence, yeah, um, but the shadow is so important because it's part of our lives. You know, I think and I've been there too we have to really be careful not to want to become too perfect. We're human and we carry all these parts within us. You know, it's the ugly and and and and the best things. It's there and it depends on where you are or what is triggered or what your life is like.
Speaker 2:What is more, at the surface, sometimes, you know, and, and when you get to a stage that you can, you know people in horrible circumstances, like you know, in the Second World War or an Auschwitz, or you know, some people came out almost enlightened, admire these people so much they've been able to find that, uh, eternal place inside themselves in those horrible circumstances, it's like, wow, you know, so it is possible. And uh, yeah, but it it takes, I think, courage and a lot of awareness to be able to do that. Yeah, yeah, you're right and I, yeah, so that's huge. And I always think if someone can, if one person can do it, other people can do it too, and that's a start, you know, yes.
Speaker 1:And again, there's that idea of the collective or the everything being, you know, affecting everything else, like you having that experience and sharing it with someone else. If they have that experience, then there's that knock-on effect, yeah, yeah, which is a big part of what you were talking about with the greater whole and that evolution of humanity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where we're at. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, unless you live under a rock. You know the whole world is shifting. It's like you know the whole world is shifting. It's like you know it's exciting, yeah, and scary for some people. And uh, and again you know, here do we go into the story of fear, which I can understand, you know it. So many lives are affected by the choices of a few people. And again I feel like, oh gosh, I hope a lot of people can anchor, find that inner anchor within themselves, to ground that love and to ground that light and not be tempted to go into fear. And I think that's a huge exercise in itself, you know, because it's what's happening and since we affect each other, you know when you are around people that are in fear well, to stay out of fear is a challenge.
Speaker 2:You have to make an effort there. Yeah, and I even know, when we were talking about what is yours and what is mine, my father was an emotional man. He was okay, but he didn't express his emotions, and as a young child it may not be expressed, but you feel it and that is what happens with children. They start to take on or take care of their parents or you know things like that, because if you cannot carry it or handle it, I can do it for you. That's a loyalty children have and they do it. You know they don't think about it. It happens so and that's also part of family constellations. It's like to bring clarity in those patterns what is yours, what is mine and sometimes it's very helpful to say but this was not mine, it was yours and I carried it, and then symbolically giving back to where it belongs can be very helpful. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's time to talk about family constellations. It's time to talk about family constellations. You've mentioned it a few times and when I first invited you to join me on the podcast, this is the thing that I was curious about. And, like I'm cute, I love talking about all of the other things and I know that family constellations is part of um. You know your experience, um, and I've I've heard a friend talk about it a couple of years ago and and I've heard you talk about it in. You know, just mention it inside um, some of the calls that we're on for the human design uh group that we're in, and I was like I want to know more Because my friends told me just how amazing it was and how she was like I don't even know how it happened, but this man, who I'd never met before, started walking like my dad. It's magic.
Speaker 2:I know, I know that was my first experience too Okay. Gosh, no, it's magic. I know I know that was my first experience too okay gosh. No, you know, it's, it's like yeah, yeah, what is it?
Speaker 1:so what is it and how does it work? What was your experience like?
Speaker 2:whatever, you want to say I'm using it now with human design. So you know. Okay, off topic, I don't know how long family consolations has been around 30 years maybe or so, and I think also 25 years ago I was in this group training five days. We were staying overnight, it was a retreat and one guy in this group he was well, to say the least, he was not nice to me, he was really saying unkind things and I thought I don't even know you what's happening here. God you know, behave. It made me angry. I really pushed him away. I thought you know, go away, I don't want you around.
Speaker 2:And these people that were giving the retreat were working with Family Constellations and what they did on the last day. They said, okay, okay, this has been enough, we're gonna do a family constellation. I didn't know what it was. I, I, really. So I, I went, I, I had to go. I went to the toilet before it started and I came back and apparently they discussed, they discussed some things. I missed that. And this guy, you know, he walked up to me and he said so maybe you know, explain a little bit about family consolation. You choose representatives for your family. In this case it was a family.
Speaker 2:So you're in a circle, you're in a group, yeah, in a group setting, and then you set an intention and the one who has the question and in this case it was the man who was, you know, the horrible man the horrible man.
Speaker 2:Um, so the intention was well, I think I missed that part. I wasn't in the toilet. So I I think the intention was to bring clarity what's happening here. And then, in family constellation, it starts with you have a group of people and you ask intuitively people of the group, do you want to be a representative of my father? Yes, people very often say yes and my mom. So he was asked to pick people to represent his siblings, his parents. He picked me as his mom, do you want to be the representative of my mom? And I went, you know, but of course I did it.
Speaker 2:So then in the next stage, what happens is the the person who asked the question brings you intuitively, you know, in the room where, are puts you in a certain place in the room, so everybody gets their own place. So I was his mom. He put me really almost outside of the room, so I was in a far, far away corner. And then there was his father. And you also choose a representative for yourself. So you sort of make a constellation of your own family. How you've experienced it as a child or how you experience it now, it doesn't really matter and then the one who's guiding the constellation, starts to ask questions, ask the father questions, ask the mother questions. And the moment he put me in that role of his mother, this horrible man, all I could feel was so much love for him, so much love. My heart was overflowing and I went wow, this is crazy. This is crazy. I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:And well, to cut a long story short, the problem was with his father. He apparently always believed his father to do certain things well and he projected everything on his mother. And apparently I reminded him because maybe of the way I looked or behaved or in that group, that I was his mom. He was unconsciously projecting this on me. Wow, and I could only say gosh, I love you so much. You're my son, I love you. And then, you know, with interventions and all the right shifting in position, after the conclusion of the, he cried. He cried so much because he got to see you. As you know, when it's your constellation, you watch. You're not part of it. In the end, you can take a part in it. You know you take your own place when it's finished, when it's done, but you watch. You watch it as if, if it's it's, it's a movie, it's it's a play and he was crying so much and I knew, wow, this is magic, this is big, this is such.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is what happens. And then after that, you know we hugged each other and it was okay. And you know it still brings me goosebumps. So it's yeah, and after that, many, many magical experiences, many, many, and so it's a huge. I think it's such a big therapeutic tool talking about tools but it brings to light the hidden dynamics that are there, that we live with every day, and a few of the principles of human design.
Speaker 2:We've talked about it. We are human design geeks, but a lot of the principles in family constellations is you know, there are certain laws and to bring order in a family system or in an organization or you know, whatever you want to do there, there has to be a certain um, that these laws have have to be um. How do you say that? You know there's a law of belonging, for instance. Yeah, everybody in there in a system has the right to belong, whether you've been excluded from a family, whether you've, you know, your grandparents or some kind of uncle or great uncle, or did something wrong in the war, or you know which was ignored, not talked about, or whatever. They're part of the system. So everybody has to be put in their rightful place again and that brings a certain order in the family system. That brings peace and the same is, you know, there's a hierarchy.
Speaker 2:We have parents. They're older than we are, we are their children, so we have to honor them as our parents. Very often it doesn't happen because as children, you know, we, as I said, you know my dad was emotionally instable, so I started to take care of him. I took on a role that was not mine to take care of him. I took on a role that was not mine, and then you have to take your original role, your position, that's yours in the family system. Again, it brings peace. It's mom and dad next to each other. A lot of parents don't stand next to each other. The one is in front, the other one is behind or they're not connected at all. And it becomes visible in the constellation. And then, through interventions, by putting people in the right position, something starts to shift. And, yeah, sometimes people are just released from big burdens they've been carrying and they didn't know they were carrying it. So it's really amazing.
Speaker 2:And there also has to be a balance between giving and taking. You know, if it's all giving and no taking or all taking and no giving. There's also a disbalance, so, and with siblings, the eldest child comes first. How often is there a competition or jealousy between you know, the youngest or the oldest, sort of trying to? It's like a hierarchy. It's like you know, even dogs try it. You know, you want to be higher in the hierarchy, in the position closer to your parents. It's not working because you have to. You're the youngest, I am the youngest and I have to take that position. And when you do that in a family constellation it brings relief because when you're in a position that's not yours, you start to do things and work harder than you're supposed to do. You start to carry things, and children can carry a lot of things for their parents. So it's really amazing how it works and I suppose that that would like.
Speaker 1:if someone goes with a specific goal of of working through something like that, is that what happens? My friend said that she went she didn't know what was going to happen, like someone just invited her along.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but when you have a question, you know, okay, you, you, you have a constellation and there are a constellation can take about one or two hours oh wow, maybe two a day and then two people have a question and then the rest of the group is representative and they can be invited to take a position. For anyone of family or you know, and even don't underestimate stillborn children, miscarriages, they're part of the system and very often it was not talked about, so they have to be brought back into the system or accepted, or children loyal to stillborn children, or perhaps they were part of a twin or whatever. You know, it shows up, it really shows up in the constellation, becomes visible.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, you know, it gives me goosebumps over and over again so you've had that experience personally, but you're a facilitator now as well I work with it, yeah, and I started to use it with human design and wow, you know it's again.
Speaker 2:Can you talk us through?
Speaker 1:how that works. Like do you, yeah, read someone's chart first and then?
Speaker 2:invite them. Or yeah, no, there's a big I, I have a big mat, is it called man? I printed a 2x2 body graph. Okay, yeah, so, and then for all the centers I made, um, felt from felt I I cut, uh, the pieces. So for every center there's a piece. And then I have tape blue, black and red tape and I ask the one who is going to do the constellation? So if it's you, I say okay, you know, take your body graph and just fill in your design on the big mat. So you know, well, that's a procedure, you do that by yourself. So you connect to the mat and you connect to the body graph. And even without a question last week I facilitated one and you know you stand in front of your design, you look at it, it's a big mat, so you can walk over it and just sense into it.
Speaker 2:And this lady was very defined in the root. She's pure manifesting generator. So that means the sacral and throat connected and she had a connection between the root and the spleen. I, I know she's, I know her. She's always busy physically. She has to be physical. That's her strength. She's always busy physically, she has to be physical. That's her strength. She knows everything about the body, great, great strength, and so she felt very comfortable there and very safe. And before the constellations, before I start the work, the constellations, I let people say, okay, this is my energy, this is my unique flow of energy and it's perfect for me just to own it. And then I start walking, because there are conditionings, of course, everywhere.
Speaker 2:And she started walking and walking and at a certain stage she stepped on the head center, which is open, it's undefined for her, and she started to become very unstable and almost crying, feeling so unsafe because she's so used to being in the defined area, feeling very unstable. So an intervention can be. Do you want someone standing behind you? So one of the other participants took a place behind her and that gave her some peace. But the moment the person went away, she started to shake again.
Speaker 2:So I thought, okay, new intervention, start walking, see if there's someone, something around in your body, within the bodyguard. Yeah, I feel safe here. Well, no, start walking. And I saw she was trying out the centers and she was avoiding the G-center and I went. So that's what I noticed. I thought, okay, and it's undefined in her chart. So I thought, okay, you know, you're avoiding just a little sidestep. Animals are great at sensing and and being part of a constellation, and one of my cats was in a room. He stepped on the the mat and, as a Buddha, he sat on the G-Center.
Speaker 1:I was really taken aback what's happening.
Speaker 2:It was exactly what I wanted to say. And then I suggested the lady. I said how about the G-Center? You know you want to try that? I see the cat is sitting there. Oh, let me try for myself.
Speaker 2:And she stood there and something shifted. She really could connect to herself and she felt she sank to her knees and she said, wow, this is what I need, you know, this feeling of belonging to me. So it again goosebumps. So it's there. You know the key is there, the healing is there. Then I ask you know, if you sit here and you look at the head center, what happens? Yeah, it's fine, I can. You know when I'm connected here, it's easy for me.
Speaker 2:So you know, it's in the body graph. You can't make it up, and I've seen it happening with you know big family things happening within a body graph. It's in the tribal centers. You can't make it up. It's in the tribal centers. It's, you can't make it up, it's in the tribal circuitry. So, yeah, it's. It's such a joy to do this and to see how it works and how magical it is. So, and you can make a constellation of just about everything, so you can use human design, you can use jinkies and you can, you know, be in an organization where there are a lot of conflicts. There's always projections coming from. Yeah, you know we're. We're full of projections. You know, if there's a boss you can deal with, maybe he reminds you of your father. You know things like that. So, yeah, it's amazing Wow.
Speaker 1:So you're doing that from home? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I heard you can do it online.
Speaker 2:But no, it is so powerful to have the people in the room and to get feedback from the field, because it's all again, you know it's all interconnected. You can wonder why do I know, like you said, your friend, how can I walk like my? He started to walk like my father. How it happens? Because it's in the field, it's there. Every energy, every thought, every they always say energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be transformed. It's there, the patterns are there and people think I have to be very sensitive or intuitive. No, you can feel it and maybe some people can express a little bit more of what they feel, a bit more experienced. But it gives such a great picture of the dynamic that is there.
Speaker 2:And you know, mom and dad not seeing each other, not communicating with each other, children stepping in between being very loyal to their parents, wow, wow, it's amazing. And, and I think what's important to add, because you cannot solve everything with family constellations and you know, I can understand, as a child, when you've been abused or when you're not in touch with your parents anymore a simple family constellation, uh, you know, can be very challenging. And to because you really, really, really have to accept your parents as your parents. You know, they even make you bow before your parents and say you are my mom, you are my dad, I am the child and for some people that can be very difficult and I think the one thing that I feel that you can always do and it needs to be done they gave you life always do and it needs to be done. They gave you life, so to be able to thank them for giving you the life that you have and, other than that, you can look for healing.
Speaker 2:Or, you know, it's not a, it's not something that helps everybody, but it can give a huge insight and even problems that go back in the line of your ancestors Really, how it transfers into some children carrying a burden for their great-grandmother. Yeah, and it's true, I've seen it happening. Your mind can say, oh gosh, this is ridiculous, this is bullshit, but it's happening. I've seen too much proof that it's true, wow. So I suggest you try it?
Speaker 1:yeah, well, it's a shame that you can't do it online, but I understand the the um. You know the value of doing it in person, so I guess we have to seek people out where we live myself and the listeners. But if I'm just aware that we've hit our hour, are you kidding? No, it's gone so quickly and I'm. You know I'm not too. I try not to be too rigid with time, but I also appreciate that we have our, you know, knives to get on with. We're going to put your details in our guest directory. Do you work with um, the gene keys and human design as well, like if someone wanted to connect with you to have a reading or um?
Speaker 2:yeah, but now that I've I've really started to work with the experience, there's so many people that can do readings you know, I do it. But you know the experience, I've been part of it.
Speaker 1:You know it might be a helpful tool for someone to use going into a family constellation, even if it wasn't with you, I would assume to have a bit more of an understanding of human design. And I think that, yes, there are a lot of people doing it, and but you know, people need to find the right person for them, and so you might be it. Yeah, and what I?
Speaker 2:always do. You know it's the human design, but I, I, I look at the astrology to get a deeper understanding of the story. Yeah, so yeah, definitely, and I think you know family constellations in Europe is big. You know there are therapists doing it big time. I don't know about Australia I'm not sure how many people are there, I have no idea Just working with it and facilitating it, no, but here, you know, it's almost on every corner of the street you can find someone who works with it.
Speaker 1:That's because it's such a small country, as you mentioned In Germany.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I think. But I also feel like the Netherlands often. You know are one of the first. I don't know why that is to try out new things. And this was a German physiotherapist, no psychiatrist, who founded the family constellations in Europe. It's big, yeah, it's a joy. Yeah, it sounds really interesting yeah amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your insights with us. It's um, thank you. It's been a real pleasure to have a chat with you and and find out more about you, because we don't always get to do that when we're on. Our human design calls um and yeah, I've loved, loved, hearing all about your journey and the amazing wisdom that you have. So, thank you so much for sharing, sharing with us. Yeah, appreciate your time it was a joy.
Speaker 1:Thank you, nadine, no worries before you go, can I ask you a small favor. If you've enjoyed this show or any of the other episodes that you've listened to, then I'd really appreciate it if you took a couple of moments to hit subscribe. This is a great way to increase our listeners and get the word out there about all of the wonderful guests that we've had on the podcast. If you'd like to further support the show, you can buy me a coffee by going to buymeacoffeecom. Forward slash, life, health, the universe. You can find that link in the show notes. Thanks for listening, thank you.