Life, Health & The Universe
Welcome to **Life, Health & The Universe**, the podcast dedicated to empowering women in their 40s and 50s to embrace a vibrant and meaningful life. Join us as we explore the intersection of health, wellness, and personal growth, offering insights and inspiration to help you navigate this transformative stage of life.
Each week, we dive into topics that matter most to you— from holistic health and nutrition to mindfulness and self-discovery. With expert interviews, relatable stories, and practical tips, we aim to inspire you to live your best life, cultivate deeper connections, and find purpose in every moment.
Whether you’re seeking to enhance your well-being, explore new passions, or simply find a supportive community, **Life, Health & The Universe** is here to guide you on your journey. Tune in and discover how to thrive in this exciting chapter of life!
Contact Nadine: https://lifehealththeuniverse.podcastpage.io/contact
Life, Health & The Universe
Finding Safety in Your Body: A Journey Beyond Self-Doubt - Usui Reiki Master, Patty Sage
Ever catch yourself clinging to familiar patterns despite knowing they're holding you back? Welcome to the universal struggle between resistance and flow – a journey beautifully illuminated in this soul-stirring conversation with spiritual badass Patty Sage.
Patty returns to the podcast three years after her debut episode, bringing deeper wisdom about our relationship with resistance and the invisible cages we create. Through her powerful river metaphor, she reveals how we desperately clutch at rocks while forgetting the essential truth – we already know how to swim. Our fear of the unknown current prevents us from discovering where the flow might actually take us: toward nourishment, rest, and unprecedented growth.
The dialogue explores how early childhood experiences seed self-doubt, teaching us to question our perceptions and creating neural pathways of hypervigilance that can manifest as physical symptoms like digestive issues and anxiety. But Patty introduces transformative practices, including her "five-minute game," which helps clients experience what becomes available in the absence of their habitual struggles – peace, lightness, capability, and hope.
Perhaps most profound is Patty's insight about the ego: rather than battling against it, simply meeting it with love and appreciation often disarms its protective mechanisms. "Thank you, I love you" becomes a powerful response to our inner critics, addressing their deepest need to belong while freeing us from their dominance.
Ready to climb the mountain without a top? This episode invites you to embrace the journey of becoming with new compassion, understanding, and trust. Subscribe now and join us in exploring the beautiful paradox of human growth – we never truly arrive, yet we're exactly where we need to be.
You can find Patty's full profile in our Guest Directory
https://lifehealththeuniverse.podcastpage.io/person/patty-sage
Welcome to Life, health and the Universe, bringing you stories that connect us, preventative and holistic health practices to empower us and esoteric wisdom to enlighten us. We invite you to visit our website, where you can access the podcast, watch on YouTube and find all of our guests in the guest directory. Visit lifehealththeuniversepodcastpageio. Now let's get stuck into this week's episode. On March, the 25th 2022, I released the first episode of Life, health and the Universe, so that's almost over three years, and I was joined by a very special guest, patti Sage. If you haven't listened to that episode, you can easily find it on my website by searching for Patti, and you'll find the episode there, along with the second episode that we recorded on the 7th of June 2024, or that was released on that date. So Patti is joining me again today. I feel very fortunate to have you here. We had a little false start because I was jabbering my words and you've brought us into the space beautifully. Thank you so much for joining me today. It's kind of always a bit special, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Hello, dear friend, it is very special.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me back and things have changed. Things have changed, evolved, like we're still the same, but we've, you know, three and a half years on, um, I always refer to you as a spiritual badass or, you know, in my english accent, badass, badass, badass. But you're uh, how do we pronounce it? You sue, you suey reiki master, you're a life coach, you're an intuitive healer and you're a cellist. So you've got, you've had a whole bunch of stuff going on. If the listeners do go back and listen to that first episode, we were well, we still are parenting, but we were talking about CrossFit parenting and all of the things that life's challenges were kind of bringing us at that point in time, and it's really interesting to see how much growth and evolution there's been within that three and a half years growth and evolution there's been within that three and a half years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were. We were sprouting. Um, you know, we had just planted new seeds. I don't even think they had come to fruition yet. Uh, with the experience we had under our belts, and challenges and life stages, with the intention to bring our fullness and expansive and expression to this world and taking a chance on it. And you're right, it's three and a half years now here we are. Tons has happened between the both of us. Now here we are. Tons has happened between the both of us, and yet I feel like it was yesterday. So it's nice to catch up. I love that we get to catch up with each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, same. It's really interesting because whatever stage of life we're in, and when I go back to that three and a half years time, I really feel like I was at a turning point in my life, but I still feel like I'm at that turning point in my life. But I still feel like I'm at that turning point and things have changed and evolved, but it doesn't feel like I have yet arrived, which is kind of interesting. And maybe it's just me being impatient, or actually I've drawn a couple of angel cards in the last couple of days and the message is clearly just take stock of where you are right now. And I think that, I don't know, there's a pull of there's more, there's more, there's more, but we still need to appreciate the moment.
Speaker 2:Agreed, I would assert that we never arrive.
Speaker 1:Right, okay.
Speaker 2:We never arrive. It's like climbing the mountain without a top. And, yes, do stop and take stock of where you are. Appreciate the determination, discipline, commitment and tenacity and the energy that was poured into it, with a sense of self-trust of I don't know where this is going to land. I don't know what, the how or the when is, but I just know I have to get there. And that undeniable pull that you are describing and it will continue to pull, hopefully until we're in the ground and that's the way to live life is to be on your deathbed when you're 90. I'm aiming for 90.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm going. More than that. Oh yeah, Damn straight.
Speaker 2:Crossfitter, yes, whatever that age looks like for anybody, and not having any regrets, not saying, oh, I wish I had done that. But what held me back was just some sort of semblance of fear, some sort of invisible cage, because in the end, I'm happy to report, you live. No matter what you live, it's only the ego that has the biggest fear. Somehow, we always end up with like, well, this will happen, and then I'll feel, and the new one will love me and I'll fall away, a whole bunch of other losses, and then I'll die and it's like, oh, come now. So we're talking about the mountain without a top, and I feel like the trajectory that one is on, once you're dialed in and you've made that commitment and you feel that pull, you level up constantly. However, the next level becomes your norm. It's the new standard to which we uphold ourselves to, right, it's the new standard to which we uphold ourselves to.
Speaker 2:So it's hard to see just how far you've come, because you only see yourself through your eyeballs all the time, all your perfectionism that comes with it, there's all your um, your self-judgment and, uh, again with the eye on the prize, like, oh, no, no, I gotta be doing more. I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet, but wouldn't that be the best way to find out what, um, what there is on that deathbed, right, because you can't go anymore and really honor and revere all it took and to live fully, unapologetically, to that high standard in integrity. In integrity, um, it's not until we run into people from our old world, our old life, uh, who maybe haven't done the work or stayed in the familiar, uh, and have not moved on with you, that you actually realize how far that gap is right. Right, like I said, we were just always operating at our new norm, so it's easy to take ourselves for granted. So I would assert you are, you're there, is, is here, and your next instance is there will be here, and so on and so forth.
Speaker 1:And that's the beautiful part in all this there, we'll be here and so on and so forth, and that's the beautiful part in all this. How much of that? Um well, there's a, there's a few things going on in my head, that self-doubt piece. How much of that arrives within us because of our early childhood conditioning? How much do we bring in with us as part of our soul journey? I'm 51, so like experiencing Chiron return. So there's a process of like unraveling there. Yeah, how much do you? Or is it just like there are no coincidences like?
Speaker 2:it's all part of the package agreed. There are no coincidences. However, here we are on this plane, in these human bodies. You've heard, if everyone remembers, episode one I said in our meat suits, right um, carrying everything, including that self-doubt and decades worth of it, even my.
Speaker 2:My clearest example of it and this can be a takeaway for all the parents is how we're conditioned at a very young age to question our reality, and the classic example is the upset parent or relative who is crying and we as a child will see what's going on there's tears, there happens to be a lower energy going on and they seem upset and we approach and go mommy, are you okay? What's wrong? And the typical response of the parent is to put on a brave face and try and protect the child from the pain and go oh, no, no, no, no, it's fine, mommy's okay, mommy's okay, she's fine. And she quickly wipes away her tears and acts as if everything is normal and we think that we're helping our children or protecting them in some way, but subconsciously we're fostering a sense of self-doubt because a child in through their eyes and brain development and seeing all the evidence in the room, while being so empathic and sensitive and most highly in tune with that part of themselves is picking up on the fact that there is something not okay or someone's not all right. But now a person in authority, the person they love and trust the most, is denying their reality, going oh no, no, no, I'm fine, it's okay. So now it's confusing to the child.
Speaker 2:Like well, mommy looks upset, mommy's crying, and I kind of overheard some conversation, but now I'm being told that actually she's okay. And how does that seed can I even trust it, based on what I witnessed in childhood that I'm upset. So I use that as the first happening of lack of self-trust. And when we're moving forward into territory unknown, the greatest thing we can do is to be associated and stay in our bodies and know who we are, regardless of the territory no man's land. I think it takes a lot of unconditioning of that. But then too, growing up, we do have lots of opportunity to have lots of opportunity to um, to come back to who we are and build that confidence and undo some of the um, the self-doubt and self-questioning it's just to what degree there's also sorry, I was just going to say there's kind of two part two, two directions we could go in there.
Speaker 1:It's like, um, you know, we're obviously at a time in the world not just in our lives but you know, this moment in time in the world is poignant, I guess, like there's a lot of change going on, um, and you know that all part of that sort of um, um, and you know that all part of that sort of um, bringing awareness to our own healing and and opening, is one direction we could go in. But the other direction is how do we, how do we, uh, nurture our children so that they don't have the same experience that we had? Is that part of up, is that part of our own journey? And as they see us evolve, they will, you know come with us.
Speaker 2:Is there something active we can do? Yeah, by proxy of epigenetics, we would be helping our children. So it begins as the individual journey and that resistance that we meet, which would be the self-doubt, and that brings us into what we wanted to talk about today, which was resistance, flow and the ego. Uh, I didn't even know it.
Speaker 1:You can I was gonna say, you could write a poem about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, resistance and if we think about how much that resistance has been pervasive in our lives and in the, in the perpetuating patterns we keep coming up against, right, and somehow you can't get to the other side, you can't get there. But, as I alluded to in the beginning, the cage was invisible to begin with. So it's really about the exploration and investigation into what makes up that cage. My best analogy and this comes from my own personal experience and it's one I've shared with many people in my life, including my Reiki clients was a lesson I learned from the river and I remember I was going through a very difficult time in my life and I would often head to the river for solace and to just gaze and see what wisdom it had for me. And I'd sit in a spot where there was one big rock and I watched it from spring through summer to winter and, um, it's that type where, as the river rises, it just skims over it, okay, so you can see it's there and the surface area of how dry it is, you know from the winter and as things thaw and melt and the water rises gets smaller and smaller, um, but it's oh, yet it's always there at some points with access to oxygen and others, just being completely encapsulated by the river. And I remember that rock being how I thought things should be. It has to go this way, this person should do this in order for this to work out, etc. And really I was clinging onto a rock in a river and the water was rising and rising and rising. It was my resistance to letting go, because of course, us, with our small human minds, think that we know best and you know we can. I'm so glad we can tell the future all that kind of stuff and read minds to the point that we're so determined to hang on to the rock that now the water is coming up against our face and our throat and it's rising and we're having a harder time getting breaths and we're chattering and um and at some point even drowning, right, and it's the fear of not trusting what will happen when we let go and flowing with the river.
Speaker 2:A few things to take away. Was that, well, I couldn't hold on anymore, I had to let go at some point. But then I forgot I can swim. I forgot I can swim and that's a lesson for everybody. Is that if you were to just let go of your resistance and trust where life is taking you and and where the river is taking you. You haven't given yourself enough credit to remember that you can swim. You've survived everything up to this point. You have resources and the wherewithal. And who's to say that the river doesn't take you to an embankment where you can get out and dry off and warm up and find nourishment right and recharge? Who's to say that the river doesn't take you to somewhere else that you're meant to be? That isn't drowning, you know, clutching onto a rock in the middle of it. But it's the unknown and it's it's. We don't know what's up ahead. We can't predict where the river, what the river looks like, looks like. That has us as the control enthusiasts that we are clutching onto the rock for dear life.
Speaker 2:So, there is a bit of a leap of faith that you have to take and I tell you, it always works out, you'll be okay. There's something better up ahead.
Speaker 1:There's a book that I'm currently reading for a future guest actually, it's a book that hasn't yet been released, but he talks about the and this is something that we hear about, I think, relatively often is that idea that our brain is wired for safety and that back in paleolithic times or when we were less evolved, there was more risk and we would remember those risks because we would actually be in danger, and that our brains still trigger and fire in that same way. But in fact, when we do take those risks and step out, we are retraining our brain that it is safe. But it's not unusual to have that just because of the way that we're wired as humans.
Speaker 2:Absolutely that survival instinct. And now how that manifests in today's world, way past Paleolithic times. The behavioral adaptation is different but the fear is primal and just the same, and I would assert that is the number one root of all concern in my practice and how I work with my clients to find a sense of safety in their bodies. We have some perceived notion that we're in danger. And if you do go back to you know Paleolithic times and tribe culture, right, and that's root chakra stuff that we look at in Reiki is safety, security, tribe being grounded and belonging belonging being the big one because if you weren't a part of the village and if you were, um, ostracized, you were literally outside the village walls and alone and that's more likely for the predators to come and get you versus safety in numbers. Hence why, um, we've come into these behavioral adaptations with fear of loss of love, fear of not belonging, fear of failure, fear of letting others down, etc. To ensure that we do stay in the tribe and that we do stay safe, right that?
Speaker 2:we do stay in the tribe and that we do stay safe. Right If we look at another form of not feeling safe in one's body digestive GI issues. So I also get clients on the table who suffer from IBS, but they can't figure it out no-transcript. So it can't even accept all of these great nutrients and supplements and what you're trying to ingest to help your system in the first place.
Speaker 1:When you're working with a client and they're having that kind of experience, how would you say that reiki helps to support them? Um, like, obviously there's. You're bringing your skills together because, um, you almost can't have one. Well, you, I'm sure that the reiki healing on its own, um is supportive, but when you're coaching as well, that's going to bring a whole nother level, because you're understanding from a uh different perspective. Yeah, sorry, that's right. What sort of rate? Sorry, go, sorry go.
Speaker 2:No, you go. The way I utilize Reiki in my practice is the integration part, right To get back into your body and cultivate that sense of safety, absolutely. But first we have to unpack it right. And we've beautiful um brains that are overthinking all the time and and trying to predict the future, and full of intrusive thoughts and it's and and the things we want and know at some deeper level, yet can't quite crack through to get there. So it's like unpacking all that and understanding. Okay, this is how the brain is functioning and this is how the body is in response to it. And I ask my clients a question that a wonderful one I get from Peter Crone, and that's for them to first look around the room, look at their surroundings, get a sense of where they're sitting on the seat, me in front of them, et cetera. And I have them take a breath. And I asked them it is, it's an undeniable and unquestionable fact that you are not safe right now and they'll take a pause and they'll go no.
Speaker 2:And that's the double negative right, you're not, not safe. And the brain needs that validation and that evidence first to know oh right, that's right, I am safe, I'm in a room having an appointment and nothing's coming to get me, nothing bad's going to happen. I think that's one of the bigger ones too is like oh, if all this good stuff is happening, then something bad has to happen, some shoe has to drop, but that's a topic for another podcast. And then from there, what does safety look like? Because we know all too well what a lack of safety feels like in the body, in the constrictions. Right, tight throat, tight chest, hypervigilance and the anxiety of it. Right, your shoulders being up in years all the time Versus then cultivating.
Speaker 2:What does safety look like and feel like in your body? And they really tap into that. And I instantly see their shoulders drop, I see their jaws soften and they're closing their eyes for a moment. It's just a part of themselves.
Speaker 2:It's that neural pathway that isn't as deeply grooved as the you know, I'm not safe neural pathway. We're getting back into the body instead of being all out here and grasping and but then this and this, and distracted and overstimulated and overwhelmed. And coming back to this and the subtleties found within that were actually there the whole time. The little sensations, getting in touch with the heart, with softening the belly, with sitting down and grounding down into sacral and root chakra and into your feet, and remembering what that feels like and seeing what's there, meeting it for the first time and having space for it. I think we're always so busy and it's it's all too easy to pick up your phone and start doom scrolling and we're getting distracted by something else. That it's like you really find out what you're made of when you have to be with yourself and can you like yourself when you're by yourself.
Speaker 2:Can you accept yourself when you're by yourself? Can you have compassion for yourself when you're by yourself?
Speaker 1:It's quite challenging, I find, to go from that kind of rationalizing and all of the mental stuff and getting into the body, um, and so your practice, um, you're, you're assisting that process, right, agreed, like we have to give the brain something to clutch onto because it's going to want to do that.
Speaker 2:You're assisting that process, right, agreed? Like we have to give the brain something to clutch onto because it's going to want to do that. And, depending on where someone is in their process and what the crisis and the chaos is, it's hard for them to settle because they're always so used to being hypervigilant. Who could blame them? So I do something called the five-minute game, and any one of my Reiki clients listening to this right now they're going to be laughing, but we explore that.
Speaker 2:So we, if a, if a client comes to me and says you know what I'm? I'm not able to sleep, I'm anxious all the time and I'm just so resentful because I do stuff for everybody else. No one ever says thank you, no one ever says thank you. The myriad of reasons. And then what's happening in their relationship and what's happening in their family life, what's happening in their career life, all the evidence to support their anxiety, resentment, anger, sleeplessness, intrusive thoughts. What have you? Okay? And I go okay, where's that in your body? And then we, we breathe into that and they show me where and how heavy it is, etc. And I go okay for a moment. Then, in the absence of feeling resentful, angry, taken for granted and anxious, in the absence of that, what would make itself available to you? And it's the first time that their brain has been able to sort of put that to the side and have permission to go oh, when I don't have to do this anymore, what becomes available? To me.
Speaker 2:And they'll list. You know, I feel lighter, I feel peace, I feel hope, I feel capable. Okay, all right, great. So when we get on that Reiki table, I'm going to start a timer and for five minutes you're going to entertain feeling, you know, peace. What were the other four or three?
Speaker 2:I noted Capable, hope, right, lighter, but just for five minutes.
Speaker 2:And then, oh, five, okay, and really feel it in your body as if you have it, because really, when the brain is sending messages down and the narratives down, the body doesn't know if it's a reality, like if it's um, the, the, it's prompting certain genes to respond to that belief.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we're going to try a different brain message to prompt different genes in your body that reflect lighter, um, relaxed, hopeful, I said. But then you only get five minutes and I'll time you and I'll tell you when that five minutes is up and then you can go back to feeling resentful, anxious, angry, like no one. You know everyone takes you for granted and no one appreciates you and they laugh because it really we have to. We get a semblance of just how preposterous it is and how attached we are to our limitations, how attached we are to our narratives and the confirmation bias of everything in our lives that supports that narrative and everybody goes past the five minutes. But then, of course, I have tracked all A-types into my room and I go okay, five minutes go, and they sit there and go. How do I do this in the most productive way possible?
Speaker 2:Joy joy, joy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm relaxed, I'm free.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can do this, right, and I, you know, and we kid, but really it's, it's about entertaining that for five minutes and then you do it for another five minutes and then maybe you do it for an hour, but really it's, it's all about a state of being and what's possible, and the beautiful thing is that nothing bad happened.
Speaker 2:You know, I I had one client on the table and she's like, I'm so afraid to relax into this and feel good because I feel like something bad's gonna. And the deepest, darkest of her fears was that if I relax and enjoy this Reiki session, someone's going to get cancer and die. Wow, yeah, that's literally where her mind went, because cancer is pervasive in the genetics of the family, and this relative had it in this one, and now this one's not feeling well, and she had taken so much emotional burden upon herself as a little child, right, and that she's somehow responsible for everyone's wellbeing and genetic makeup, makeup, right that if she were to have a moment for herself, she would drop the ball of her hyper, hyper vigilance somehow, and that's where her mind would go is eventually, everyone's gonna get cancer and die because of me.
Speaker 1:You know it's that's hectic hectic and heavy yeah, so when you're working with someone in that, in well, whatever situation, how long? Okay, so our that process, right where we have all of the mental stuff going on and we're not in the body, that I'm sure when they come to you and they do the five minute play a game and they have their Reiki session, they leave feeling all of the things peace, light, lighter, more positive, hopeful. But over a period of time, the don don't be so stupid that all of the things, the familiar, the familiar thing, comes back in to play.
Speaker 2:The pathway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's probably different for everyone, but how long would you say it takes for someone to really work through that stuff? How long would you say it takes for?
Speaker 2:someone to really work through that stuff. And that's such a great question, because that's the first worry that comes in their head. Is that, well, I'm going to have to go back into real life as soon as the doors of this room and I'll turn my phone on and there's going to be X amount of emails or messages or urgent things waiting for me. I don't want to lose this, and this outside world is going to degrade my inner peace, and I mean it depends how deeply grooved that neural pathway is Of, well, fear-based narratives, narratives, we'll call it that, yeah, and so it takes. It takes practice, and it takes awareness and a real sense of self-compassion to meet those familiar narratives and familiar feelings, lower vibrational feelings. When they come up to remind them that five minutes does exist for you know however long they were on the table with me, they had it, and I tell them, I said I know that you're afraid of losing this once you leave, but you can't.
Speaker 2:It's that saying I say, because this is their truth. If they're relaxed, you know, peaceful, there's breathing room, there's a new sense of themselves, which was always there, just that they just didn't go down that neural pathway themselves, which was always there, just that. They just didn't go down that neural pathway. That's their truth too. All parts belong to us, and it's not about rejecting any, it's about integrating all, which would be the ultimate form of self-acceptance. And the thing I say to them is nothing can be taken from you. When you cannot be taken from yourself, you belong to yourself and in that vein, then everything outside of you is just a circumstance, because wherever you go, there you are, you belong to you. So the, the power that comes from that is they get to decide what that looks like for themselves, what their isness is, and where I get everyone to by end of session, is it just is right.
Speaker 2:People are not in elation, but they're not in the deep anguish they were before. It's this really beautiful neutrality of peace, breathing room, belonging, calm. It is right, you, it just is, and that's the you know. We talked about equanimity before previously. It's neither good nor bad, it just is. And when you are in full acceptance and from that space you choose rather than react. And when we're looking at doing this work and it just happens to be through the modality of reiki, but it takes reps because we're undoing decades worth, if not lifetimes worth, and you know generational stuff that's been handed down, that's been carried by the individual for as long as they can remember. So it is possible, but it takes awareness and discipline, yeah.
Speaker 1:But not in a hard you know, know, I have to bleed. For a way, excuse me, I think, um, it kind of. It's that idea of being able to become the observer so you can observe, you can sort of step away from all of the everyday troubles or experiences that we may be having and look at it and realize that we actually do have a choice, taking those that time. And often people say you know when you're feeling stressed this is really simplifying things but when you're feeling stressed, just breathe.
Speaker 1:Richard Rudd, in the gene keys, talks about pausing regularly because we get caught up in all of those everyday cycles. But when we take that moment to pause and we're deliberate, we can step away, we can breathe, we can say ah, this is the story, this isn't necessary, this doesn't have to be the story. And when we can quiet that and take a moment to observe, then we can start to move away from it. Or, as you said, it becomes, is, it just is, rather than something that defines us. And we often see that when we do, when we can come back to that inner calm, that the outer world begins to be less abrasive.
Speaker 2:It's just noise or, as I call it, mortal shit, mortal shit, mortal shit. Really. And I agree with you. Tara Brock refers to the power of the pause. Right For a moment, because the ego will knee-jerk response versus, yes, the power of the pause, being the observer and making a choice. We put ego to the side for a moment and it's not that ego's bad.
Speaker 2:Ego has its function, which is survival right Keep us alive at any cost. So I talk about, like, not rejecting those parts of us per se but integrating rejecting those parts of us per se but integrating ego. The more we resist ego and try and dismiss it and and frown upon it and shame it, um, it will give us the opposite effect.
Speaker 1:It wants it, you know I haven't, uh, I have gone through processes and I think, as you mentioned, it takes. It takes commitment, a lot of commitment, but also just remembering, because it becomes so automatic that you know that, all of the talk, self talk and so on. But one thing that I found really helpful for me was when I noticed the ego stuff, you know, the negative self-talk, the inner critic thanking it, telling it me that I love you, and in fact it's almost like if I could visualize it the inner critics. I go.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I love you. And it goes, oh, and it just shuts up. Yeah, it just pauses, it stops. But yeah, I have to remember to do it that's the whole.
Speaker 2:That's the whole kicker. Right to win the lottery, you got to buy a ticket first, yeah, so that that's all it ever wanted. So, if we can, you know you made such a good point. If the ego's main purpose it's one goal in mind is survival, right, and it comes from a fear of basically not belonging. Being out of the tribe, outside the walls, I'm not safe, right? Um, because and I'll drive this home in a moment but if we don't belong? So therefore, if we're not accepted by someone, we're rejected out of a group, we're not part of it. That must mean, underneath that, a rudimentary belief that well then I'm bad, if it was good I would belong. Well then I'm bad, if it was good, I would belong. And if we go one layer beneath I'm bad, it means I'm not lovable. Right, because if something's bad, then it won't deserve love.
Speaker 2:We were to frown upon that ego when it comes up and it's knee, jerk reactions and and serve it more. Criticism like our self criticism oh I should have, oh, why did I do that? I should have known better. Or it goes to shame, blame, guilt, something outside of us right, it's their fault. Or they're wrong and I'm right, et cetera, guilt something outside of us right, it's their fault, or they're wrong and I'm right, etc. We miss out on the point and the, the key nourishment, which is just to love right, because that's all it wanted to begin with, is just to belong, because if I infantile belief system, I can't remember where I um read it.
Speaker 1:It was a couple of years ago it was. It might have been peter levine the body keeps, uh, or you know, I was looking into um trauma, trauma and um, how the body keeps the score and that sort of thing. And one of the people that I read about was talking about love and how, when we come into the world, we don't feel separate. And so we begin with I am love, I am love. And then when we sort of get to one or two and our parents tell us off for doing something, and then you run to them and they hug you and say you shouldn't have done that, you feel that you're loved conditionally. So that becomes conditional love.
Speaker 1:If you do this conditionally, so there becomes conditional love. If you do this, then I'll love you. If you do as you're told, I'll love you. So that and there was a whole like a whole series of them, but it was really interesting like how, yeah, how that that idea of us being sort of unified as one whole, um, and I am love as we are. All that um, yeah, how our sort of infancy and and through our um cycles of life, we become more separate, and then it becomes the journey back to understanding that and recognizing that agreed. Recognizing that Agreed.
Speaker 1:Some journey with a topless mountain.
Speaker 2:I just got a visual of that I just heard topless, exactly, exactly. Where was the break in an instinctual knowing, before any impression was made on us that somehow we were separate? And really it's just words, right, it's just words that form the invisible cage that dictates the behavior of everything we do in our lives. Back to your point about oneness. Actually you'll find that even though the circumstances are different or the scenario is different, the wound is the same and it actually invites in a lot of support and empathy and understanding amongst all, when you realize, actually, we all know what pain is, we all know what fear is, we all know what love is. It doesn't make us so different, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a core value. Yeah, sounds amazing, and I guess that kind of cycle of the eight weeks like when you do sort of close, we want to come back to, uh, the, the meat soup right, we gotta come back to the meat soup world. So it's like how we embody that and integrate it into our lives. Um, yeah, because our ultimate goal is to to have a better understanding of ourselves so that we can live in a more fulfilled way that way of being and actually relational aspect to this world.
Speaker 2:So it's like I said before wherever you go, there you are and everything outside of you is just a mirror and a circumstance. Right, we create our realities based on what we're radiating out that's a whole nother podcast as well three hours for that one, yeah great the beginning, it is the self-accountability and cultivating a sense of self-trust. Jump and life will catch you. You'll figure it out, you'll be okay, you'll live, don't worry.
Speaker 1:And um, there's only one way to find out yeah, it's not by sitting at home on doom scrolling. Thank you so much, patty. It's so good to have you here. I love our conversations and, yeah, it's always a joy so much wisdom from the spiritual badass oh, the bad ass, bad ass it takes one to know one.
Speaker 2:My dear love it. Yeah, it's always so good, so nourishing. Thank you again, and I'll see you soon thank you.
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