The Midlife Rebel Podcast

How Burnout, Cancer, And Silence Rewrote A Life - James Brett

• Host - Nadine Shaw - Midlife Rebel; Natural Wellness Advocate, Astrologer, Gene Keys Guide,Human Design Enthusiast • Season 16 • Episode 1

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What if the most powerful shift you can make in midlife isn’t another push, but a pause?
In this episode, I sit down with James Brett—a former high-stakes sales leader across Europe and Asia Pacific—whose life was redirected by a diagnosis and a sudden confrontation with his own limits. Moving from boardrooms to a hospital bed forced him into a kind of listening he had spent years avoiding. What he discovered is that resilience isn’t built through force; it’s built through presence, pacing, and deep respect for the body.

James shares how he transformed dysfunctional teams by slowing the room, creating coherence through attention rather than pressure—and how that same philosophy became essential during his recovery from a stage 3 kidney tumour and a near-fatal obstruction. His return to health wasn’t a sprint; it was a disciplined devotion to nourishment, Daoist movement, energy cultivation, rest, and the non-negotiable choice to stop burning out his system.

He opens up about a four-day vision quest, ten days of silence, and the moment the message “you are worthy” finally interrupted a lifetime pattern of proving his value. We also explore the Gene Keys, the shadow of inadequacy, and how resourcefulness becomes service when you integrate what pain has taught you.

This conversation is for anyone rethinking success, leadership, or healing in midlife. Expect practical tools for deep listening, clearer boundaries, and sustainable energy management—along with a warm reminder to reclaim the “empty” moments we keep trying to fill with noise and distraction.

If you’re navigating burnout, a career shift, or a health wake-up call, you’ll find simple language and grounded practices to help you act with clarity without sacrificing your wellbeing.

Visit the Guest Directory to find James’ profile:
https://midliferebel.beam.ly/guest-directory

If you know a midlife rebel who might need a gentler path back to impact and purpose, please share the episode with them.

If you know a midlife rebel who might enjoy this content, please share the podcast with them!

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to the Midlife Rebel Podcast. It's time to rewrite the midlife story for women who refuse to be put in a box. Because maybe midlife isn't a crisis. Maybe it's an awakening. My guest today is James Brett. James is co-founder of Erasis Within, and he helps leaders and professionals find more harmony, insight, and purpose in what they do. His own journey has shown him that true leadership isn't about pushing harder, it's about slowing down enough to really listen. Today, James is going to share his story and how his path has led him to bring together achievement and awakening. Hello.

SPEAKER_00:

That sounds so juicy, Niddy.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, we've had a nice, nice long um preamble before hitting record. So yeah, we there's no doubt we're gonna have we're gonna have no shortage of things to talk about. I really appreciate you taking the time. And um I would love for you to start kick us off by taking us on a bit of a journey. And if we could hit like go back, rewind the clock about six years from now, um, and tell us what you were up to then, and then we'll kind of go on a on the journey of like how how that's evolved over the last few years.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure, sure, sure. And that feels like a lifetime ago, but uh it's a beautiful way to start. And thank you again. It's a real um honor and I'm really grateful to to uh share space and have an opportunity to talk um on this podcast and to your audience. So, yeah, um back in um wine back sort of 2019, um that time, so I had a long background in in working in corporate um and in um top-level selling. Um, so sales ended up through um a sales career from selling um hotel dining through to selling food, selling um worked for the largest importer of wine and selling alcohol across the UK and Europe. Um, and that didn't in the end resonate and align with me. So I left that and went started working in education um in um companies um supplying um software and um educational IT to support um raising standards and and engagement and connection. So that was uh I did that for uh um yeah, almost 10 years in the UK and then came to Australia and was working for a big multinational working across Asia Pacific. So fast forward from that time to 2019, I was really at the top of my game, but pushing really hard. Um I was um leading bid teams um on large procurement, so whole of state government so led the team to win the Department of Education South Australia contract for over 900 schools with a um school management system that manages all of the demographic and assessment, all that data, a learning platform that supported online learning, engagement, parent portals, finance system, real end-to-end, as they called it, an education management system. So that was um, yeah, a real pinnacle in terms of sales and success at that level of um looking to impact the whole state um to move them forward with with technology and systems to support teachers having more time to teach and less do less doing admin and more engagement for for the community parents and students. And I got a real track record for um leading teams, leading procurement bids like that. And um at that time as well, was then there was a team in Singapore that was a subsidiary of the company I was working for that was struggling. They had a big tender coming up um and it there was dysfunction in the team. And my MD at the time said, I don't want to deal with them, you go, and sort of parachuted me into um to um Singapore. And um through a process of me, it's interesting because sometimes I feel I'm not actually doing anything, I'm just being in presence and being slowing people down. And obviously, there's coming to a clear vision, but then in that slowing down and people stepping into their presence and being and listening, um, they access their own wisdom and knowledge, and that comes and the team shifts from dysfunction into coherence, and we won. Yeah, that one was it was almost 92 million dollars. It was a massive, massive gender. Um and so super, super successful. Um, but there was also a lot of pressure in terms of maintaining um the sales, and it was having an impact on on my um my system in terms of um the amount of flying, um, not eating that well when you're eating in nice hotels, you had a nice allowance. So I wasn't looking after myself physically as well as I could have. And even though I'd have some practice where I would be in in, yeah, would be very calm, present, um, listening, there was at that time a bit of a disconnect still to the body. So I was doing a lot of work around the mind and settling the mind, um, creating a space where fresh insight and fresh thinking can arise from a quieter mind, but then the body wasn't being really looked at after when I look back then to that time. And so I started to have this sense of being, you know, I'm getting burnt out, but was hanging on for long service leave, the the great thing in Australia you don't have back in back in the UK that you get all 10 weeks. So I I just kept hanging on. Um, and then obviously, um, you know, we came into COVID, um, which was a real gift for me, a real gift because it slowed down, the schools were all shut, and so I couldn't go out on site visits and and meet people. So I was just had all of that time at home on really good pay. And so I was doing all of this deeper spiritual work, um, did some um, yeah, some things which I've never really spoken about about, even you know, some deeper plant medicines. Um, one of the, well, it is the strongest um psychedelic on earth, um, 5MEO DMT. I even did a um a six-day journey with that, which is a a ritualized ego death, where it's um that psychedelic will literally rip the ego, the identity, the self-image away. It's um, but it's very, very disruptive too, and in in hindsight, it was too disruptive to my own energy field, thinking back to what happened later with my um cancer and and trauma. But I was in this sort of deep exploration of who am I, and um, and then was also a bit of that. Oh, I need to get rid of the ego. Let's see what it's like with no ego, no identity, no self-image. Um, and what happened is my at that point, my ego came back actually more strongly following that journey. Um I was with this having had this lovely relationship with this New Zealand girl, and that collapsed. She couldn't be in the same room as me when I was sort of sharing that story of just being one, no other, just being completely one with the universe. And then I started working with this spiritual coach in the US who said to me, Well, you're working with me for the next year, um, you can't ever do that um desert medicine, that buffo, that toad medicine. It's too disruptive to your energy field. Um, and so I yeah, I said, Yeah, I'm I'm committed to that. There wasn't a a calling. And as I continued that journey with him, there's not been since then in my own um journey of of awaking up, um, waking up to who I who I really am, my the essence. Um, there's not been a uh that seeking of needing to go back there. Um, but that was sort of that COVID time gave me this time to really stabilize, establish um my own spiritual meditative practice, um doing some other trainings as well with some leading um trainers in the space of um how understanding the nature of mind, the nature of thought, um and when we're in our calm, in our balance, in our in that state of um yeah peace, then we have this space for fresh insight and thinking, and that's powerful in corporate where people are just pushing, pushing, pushing. So within that, um, when I then when sort of COVID lifted in that, and then I sort of said, okay, I need to finish, finish with um working for that corporate and had my long service leave, and then um went back to the UK. And you tell them, as I said, he originally from the UK, and I have two children who still live there. So and uh at that time I had my mum who was on her own in Spain and was um actually um not wanting to leave Spain. You know, she was um in her late 70s, but was like, I just want to stay here. I haven't got long, I want to stay here, but she was starting to get dementia, and and that was the sort of thinking back, my partner uh Lisa, we were at this beautiful festival in Snowdonia um called Spirit Horse. And on that in that festival, we were sort of walking along this creek um with bilberries, like wild blueberries. It was like Lord of the Rings, and we were sort of walking down this creek, and then um we hear the sound of this Indian flute, and there's this guy on a cushion just on the riverbank, just playing you know, this beautiful flute, and um it was really magical. But I got speaking to him the next morning at breakfast, and he sh shared with me that um um five years before he'd come to this festival, he was in India with his master and was um had a call from his mum, who was an alcoholic, couldn't move out of a chair, to say, you need to come back and look after me. And he left the master and went to live live with her, and he lasted two years before he then started drinking and became an alcoholic. And then another two years before he had a breakdown and the social services came in. Um, and and he sort of looked at me because I shared with him the trauma. I've I've got you know that history of my parents both being alcoholics and a lot of violence, both physical and mental, verbal. Um, and he looked at me at that breakfast table and said, Don't let this happen to you. Um and that was for me this inception point of fear, you know, that because my mum could be so, so loving, but was also this polarity of also being really, really nasty and um, particularly with alcohol, and particularly to my sister, and thinking back, that's that that's also been a thing of me wanting to move over to the other side of the world to to um as as I was thinking about that earlier. And so when I um yeah, that's that sort of brings us forward because there was um the cancer, um, which was almost 11 centimeter tumor that was growing off my right kidney. Um, they told me the surgeon that's probably been growing there for a couple of years in a cavity without you even knowing. Um, and the kidneys in Chinese medicine are the seat of fear. And so that was that inception point. I love that movie, love Christopher Nolan movies, but there was an inception point there of fear, the fear of losing my physical life of in and and obviously losing my material life at that time of having to go back to the to the to Europe, leave Australia and what I've built, what we've been building here, to look after my mum. So there was this um, I guess, yeah, a bit of internal conflict and between wanting to be the good son and go and and go and care for her, and then also um a bit of resentment in terms of because of the path that she'd led in terms of at that time, um, in terms of just alcohol and and what she what what how she um how she was managing to live through her own trauma. And and so there's a big been a big journey for me of forgiveness, you know, forgiveness of myself, forgiving myself for judging myself, um, and also um forgiving her for knowing she was doing the best she could for how she saw it in the moment. And and they didn't have that generation's the same access, the tools or capacity, even I think, to even um so it was easy just to to numb through alcohol and that be away. But as you go deeper in with that um energy, it's it's obviously, yeah. I remember doing, yeah, I'm talking a lot here, Nadine, around that. So there's lots of things we can explore around that. Um and then, yeah, do you want me to keep keep going?

SPEAKER_01:

You can keep going. It's an amazing story, I love it.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, so so what yeah, so there was that thing happening in Spirit Horse and and and Peter sharing me that and say, and then I was I remember like, oh, and then I would then you know we came, we came back, and then we um we're traveling up and down the mid-north coast and south as well, um, and up to Queensland in in in a bus looking. We were like, we need we don't want to stay in the cities anymore, we want to be in nature, and and we both wanted me and Lisa to create this sanctuary, a place of of transformation, um, which is now a place of transformation and healing. And we um were were traveling up and down and then we settled, we fell in love, even came to this place by accident. Lisa put in the wrong address, and we sort of turned up at this place thinking we were viewing another property, and we're like, you know, and the the the woman was like looking really confused, why are you here? And it was for sale, and so we but we loved it, and then we um we'd been on this project of building and wanting to create this sanctuary, this center, um, where we can share our gifts and um support others and be of service. And a year ago, the third of September, though, um, I had to go in for major surgery and and be cut down the middle and have a tumour and this right kidney removed. And even that story is really magical and gives me goosebumps is um I was two months before my mum was deteriorating again with dementia, was getting stronger. She'd have moments of lucidity. Um, and I told her, okay, I need to go back, said to Lise, I've got to go back, I've got to go and spend time with her. And and so there was this um, yeah, I've I've got to do the right thing and go and care for her and see if I can get her back to the UK where she can be cared because there's very little infrastructure in Spain for um for the elderly. Um and um and so just we I decided, meaning it was Lisa's birthdays at the end of the end of July, and we'd said, let's go and do um and work with this tantrika, a yogini who does Taoist Chinai sang, stomach massage, and also um some ancient forgotten tantric rituals. And so we were sort of that sounds a really beautiful combination. And I was having this Chinai Sang stomach massage on my on my stomach, and they were sort of uh the facilitator was sort of just pushing around and they could feel on the right side that there was tension and tightness, and I was like, Oh, that's a bit sore. And so she was working in energetically to work on that right side, and then was saying there's something deep in the tissue here. It's uh it's a dark mass with tentacles, and I was like, ooh. And then um, she says, I can't get it all out, and then the bell rang, and then you sort of change partners, you know, in terms of we're gonna do another um activity around um that um that retreat, and it was and then I was like, oh no, that's fucking bad. That is pardon my language that it's uh it's stuck. Um I wanted to get it all out, and then and so we um retreat finished, went to Sydney, I was feeling absolutely exhausted, and then we came home on the Wednesday, and the next day I woke woke up and I was peeing blood, and I was like, oh no, that's really and then in pain. I've got such a high pain threshold. But Lisa was like, yeah, okay, it must be really bad if you're you're saying this is really, really painful and sore. So I had a rushed up to Koff's Hospital and then had a scan. Um, the doctor came out, took a massive inhale of breath, which is like, oh, that's not a good sign, is it? And um, then he shared, he said, your right kidneys in a right mess. It's got a dark mass with tentacles coming off it.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00:

And I was like, oh, I get goosebumps even now sharing it, sharing them now. So it was almost as if that uh work with that Chineseang had energetically brought it to the surface. And he said, Yeah, it's probably been growing for a couple of years. Um, it had started to move up the um intravena canal, um, and um was so it was stage three. Um and so they yeah, had to cut um, yeah, cut um me down the center, take all of my intestines and and everything out, and then get to the kidney and the tumour and then put everything back in. And that's probably the the the was the hardest and the most, yeah. Um when I almost died was that I had a bowel obstruction, so you know your intestines are almost 10, you know, 10 meters long. So when they put it back, it's bound to kink. And I was given amazing, amazing care by the health service here. And and the one thing which in in reflection, and it's typical of of Western medicine, is the nutrition guidance um was lacking. And they'd put me on opiates, you know, endone, strong opiates, and I was like, okay, Lise, will you go and get me an omelette? Yeah. And they didn't sort of say, no, you just need to have broth, you know, because your your your bowels are going to be pretty upset after you know 54 years to uh um to all be taken out and pushed back in. So I um was then, yeah, was then um lost 11 kilos of weight, um, was yeah, pretty close to you know to to not being here. And um, but at the same time, there's with all of the work I've done around surrendering, softening, um, accepting what is, um there was that releasing and letting go. I remember going into theater at the time of being in real, real surrender and peace and and the body feeling soft. And and when I had the bowel obstruction, I was in hospital, that's what I was just letting the body soften, the mind soften. And in that softening, the um the bowels um untwisted and and I started to flow again. And and then yeah, and then I um got my uh health has been coming back. I've been on a big journey, and then another, I'll take a breath, but I've been in China working with the Taoist master and doing ancient practices to bring harmony to the body, to listen, be able to listen to the body and bring that connection back to when I started, where there was that disconnection to the between my mind and the body, to really um seeing how precious the body is, and we need to listen to it and we need to care for it and nourish it in the right way and move it. Um, and in that, my vitality is returned. Um, I just last week had my follow-up monitoring scan completely all clear. My left kidney is even stronger now, so it's strengthening. Um, where before it was struggling, you know, a few yeah, months after the um bowel obstruction that cleared, I I would fall over when I was you know going to bend over. I just literally fall over um kidneys and ears, and there's that connection. Um and so um now, yeah, I'm feeling back up and tired up and ready to go. So, yeah, there's a bit of a big um download there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, such a such an amazing story. And like the reason I asked for you to go back that far is because I'm really curious about that kind of you were deep in the corporate world, and part of your story is that you've had to learn to unwind and and become more present and stop and rest when your body tells you that you need to. So you've had all of this stuff that you've you've learned, but also it's almost it feels like you were beginning a preparation for this moment where you had the darkest night of your soul almost. And had you not had some of those experiences where you'd started to explore your spirituality, um, you'd done a hadn't you done a um not just your um psychedelic experience, but didn't you do like a you know a two-day like out in nature, nothing else? A four water, what do you call it? A vision quest.

SPEAKER_00:

Vision quest, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because there's been, yeah, I've done that, yeah. There's been a beautiful 10-day, which I did early on in my corporate career career in Australia, actually, a 10-day Papassioner, so 10 days in silence, which was really, really powerful for me. And then the four-day vision, vision quest with through the lineage of grandfather um stalking wolf, um, with um, yeah, um, she's a beautiful, or both of them, Lee True and Gina Chick, who won Alone Australia a few years ago, weren't they? First women woman, woman to to win win that incredible energy and bushcrafter, and just um what a force, force of nature and and good in the world she is, and and Lee, yeah, and Lee too. So yeah, did this four-day vision quest, which um does interlink actually to to the story, because yeah, and and as you said, there's this these explorations for me of of um the edges of consciousness of like who who I am and um seeing the levels of resilience that's innate. And I remember going into that vision quest, it was down south inland, um on the south coast, inland from Milton, on some beautiful, beautiful land there. And I, in a way, I went in there being a bit cocky in terms of um I can be in my own mind and body, and um, this is gonna be easy. And or I was properly given a good serving because when for me, I like my I still like my carbs. I'm like, oh, shall I go keto? But I don't think I'm allowed now with one kidney, but I'm cutting my carbs down. But I that not eating food for four days, and so there's a detoxification that happens on the physical, but physical uh level, and then there's this detoxification that happens on the mental level, and then the emotional level, and then you know they call them these four distinct or but they're they meld into each other all of these things, and then and then the um the spiritual aspect of of that work of questing when you're on your own in a three-meter circle, you have to dig a latrine somewhere you can you know poo into. And I remember digging that, and then my body just went into like this constipating, I'm not gonna move anything out of this four days. So I'd be looking at my beautiful hole that I dug. And um and then my mind going out of control, you know, because I can I can have a busy mind, um, which again is uh one of those things early on in my um corporate career is very much around how can I control thinking, control the mind, doing neurolinguistic programming and and doing this aspect of then how can I influence people and be a better communicator and control states because I would get very nervous when I'd stand up in front of people when I first started and just a quick yeah, I remember being in the UK in front of 200 teachers and was trying to do this presentation, and my hand was so nervous I couldn't stop the mouse button, just triple quick clicking. So I was doing this presentation, and it was sort of jump on three, four slides, and they were like, ah, this is and then try and wind it back. So I did some work there around you know being in in presence and and and NLP I initially was doing that to you know do your thumb and finger together, and then you feel confident, and then you can go and talk to people. Um, but even that wasn't longevity. And so I was exploring consciousness, exploring things, and the vision quest is an incredible um and challenging but beautiful. I mean, I remember the first day the birds would be and and nature would be would be cautious. Who is this person? Which is obvious, you know, me like oh I'm physical trauma in my mind, and then I was seeing things in the in the trees, my daughters, you know, my daughter and son, their faces, and it was you don't have any um reading material uh or no technology, nothing to write with, you're not allowed to do breath work or movement. You you you know, you you have to just be with you. Um and that can be challenging when I could see even with all of that work that I'd done, there was still this distractions that I would do, and and and then yeah, with no food, it started to rev up. So I got really, really busy and then would sort of sleep during the day, and then would in the night when it was really cold, it was raining, it was even a bit of snow, it was insane. Um, conditions, and I would like be just yeah, just time just sort of starts to uh elongate. You've got no idea what time it is because you don't know what sort of it just, you know, obviously the you can when the sun comes up and the sun goes down, but then in night it just would be, yeah, felt like a lot of trauma.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and then the last day was this dropping into this deepest, deepest peace and um the connection with nature, the the trees, a wedge-tailed eagle flying over the top of me, just that connection, birds coming closer, and then it makes me feel emotional now in terms of just the connection with with the tr all of these ancient old trees that was where my site was, you know, just on on uh away from there were 12 people questing, but you're all very distant from each other, so it just felt like you're isolated, but just feeling having this message from the trees that that uh you are worthy, you're worthy.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

And that's I think also created some of that pushing, pushing to um to prove my worthiness, um, which is yeah, wrapped a whole nother thing. A whole nother thing. Yeah. And when we came here in our bus, as we were leaving this land and we found this aggressive by accident, as I said, there was a wedgetail eagle that flew over the top of the bus. And I was like, oh, we're meant to be here. This is where we've got to build our home.

SPEAKER_01:

Lovely. Uh so where so that experience, where did that come in the whole picture of the vision quest? That was part of your journey to sort of develop your and improve your mindset for the corporate world? Were you still in and and training other people to do the same, to kind of be at your peak game in the corporate world by using spiritual practices? Is that kind of where you were at at that point?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so yeah, well it came, yeah. I mean started when I when I came to Australia in 2010, um, then I um I was married then and I had you know two two beautiful children, but my marriage imploded, and um my ex-wife went back to the UK, and then I did a lot of soul searching in terms of do I need to go back and was doing and but I started at that time doing, I was already on my path of meditation and doing different meditation meditative practice practices, um, and hosted a workshop at my place in French Forest. I was living in Sydney then, with the Monroe Institute, and that's a not-for-profit in the US, with a beautiful um man who's not uh with us anymore, but his legacy uh continues, Bob Munro, who he was doing research into sound waves and how different sound waves in the left and and right uh ears and the hemispheres could then alter your states of consciousness. And so I was doing this, hosting this workshop and then actually participating in it as well with these on my on at my place, and had this deep, deep experience. He he would call them, he didn't want it to be mystical or have any dogma, so we'd call them like focus 10 and focus 12, these different levels of consciousness. And in and and in that focus 12, you can ask a question, and I was asking, should I go back to the UK? And and I had this just really vivid image of all of these um people dressed um and in in Australian yellow, cyclists, cycling around this mountain to this peak. And I was like, okay, I I I I I have to stay, I should stay here. And that's been real, that was really challenging as well, from that in terms of being away um for for you know um time from my from my children. They would come here, I would go back back there. And that was one of the benefits of of having a really you know good corporate job, is I could um um that gave me that ability, that choice. Um, but I sort of saw then that that would at that point that was when you know I was on my own that I was then really able to really devote a lot of time when I wasn't flying and doing um sales and working to inner work. And so that just continued through that. So it would have been around just before COVID, I did that vision quest. Um, and part of that is we we we wanted, yeah, because we also did um some bush mentoring to teach rewilding to children with um with um blue gum, um, which followed on after that. But it was but that was um yeah, I think there's a um there's been a shift for me, whereas I was initially early on was looking at how can I improve my performance and connection and rapport and recreate create the least resistance when I'm talking with with someone. So, how do you then match body language and even you know the language of how you speak and what you talk about? We talk, you know, we spoke a little bit about this before we even um turned turned on the on the record around these personas. I could have this these personas, and it was like, how can I really um um maximize my capacity to be um a great salesperson and impact through so a lot of my early development from 2010 was around that, and then like it was the yeah, the rabbit hole started to open up, and I started to then explore um different aspects of consciousness and what is real? Am I my thinking? Right, and what is it, and that's sort of that's what led me back down to sort of then looking at what's it like to have no ego at all and self- you know, self-ego-mind identity. What what is that like? Um, a curiosity, um, which uh said, you know, in in hindsight, you know, everything everything happens as you shared in terms of it's part of my journey of being um every step a necessary step to who I am and who I will become. So there's a um recognition of that is that was part of my journey and part of the journey through healing is to have all of those experiences. But I, you know, remember going to see just before, I didn't mention that actually, just before I was going in for surgery, I started seeing this shaman in Bellingen called Simon Green. Um, and he does like a cranial sacral therapy, and then sort of starts to tune in and share a bit of your life story about what's been happened to you and why you've you know what's going on in your body. And he shared that it's he he he gave sort of these um milestones throughout my life. We talked about when I was at age three, I was um exposed to enriched uranium. And that was a time when I was in uh Germany with my father, mum, and dad, where he was in the army, and I remember have having a picture of me around tanks um as a at that sort of age. And then yeah, and that's the only thing. Well, how where can you be around enriched uranium? He said, Well, that was the time when your water started to get dirty. But he says, You've been doing things throughout your life where it's like you've been pumping a bicycle pump with the end of the pump turned over so the energy couldn't escape. And I was like, Oh, well, that's probably that toad medicine was definitely like that in terms of like hanging on to the outside of a rocket, you know, just your life as it's torn apart. It's like, yeah, okay. Um, I can see that um could do that. Um, and so um that, and then he also said there's some deep grief here with your mum. And I'd had a Zoom call a week before. Um, my sister had been there, and my mum had said to Carol, you know, are you gonna come and um um can you come and look after me? And she knew my mum knew in the lucidity that I couldn't come. I'd been told I couldn't travel, I had to go in for surgery, and my sister said, No, she can't, uh, he can't, and I I can't with all that's going on. And so I had this beautiful connection with my mum, and um and then um the week before my surgery, um, I had I had this call um um from Carol, my sister, to say, Mum's past. And so there was this letting go. I mean, she was she was ready, she lived a really full, full life um in that and and said a lot of a lot of alcohol-fueled experiences and adventures. Um but she was ready. There was a letting go and releasing, and and that's um what happened? I saw that shaman, and the next day when I woke up, I had I saw him again a second time, and then when I woke up, I had this big flush of blood, and I was like, oh no, that was not good because you know uh what's going on. And then that's when he sort of said, That's when your mum passed, when you're on the table with me. Um, there was a letting go.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and so um, yeah, and and and so that sort of span of um, you know, thinking about your question you first asked, is there was a lot of me working on my self for self-improvement, and then a shifting into um that resting in in being. So, how can I be in the world but not of it in that way? So I want to be fully in, I want to be fully in this world, but I also want to, yeah, I know the essential nature of my being is peace and happiness. That's you know, the my I'm innately well in terms of the uh my essence. Um a physical body can be, you know, is a reflection and is you know part of part of us, but we're not limited by it. And and so that's been my deeper practices of then been exploring that and how do I stabilize and establish that because there are still moments where a relationship and experience can knock me out of that, and then I get lost in in the world, lost in the emotion. You know, I'm very sensitive, if you know, energetically very open, so I can feel other people's energies. Um and emotions even can sometimes get amplified, which means I can then get, if I'm not in balance, can feel that I'm um feeling something that isn't even mine.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So that's kind of where you're at right now with just sort of trying to find that balance between the well, it's almost like yin and yang, isn't it? It's the flow and it's the action.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yeah. So with where with with for me now, there's that um I always felt and I always one of my gifts was was this capacity to to listen. Um, but there's I've what I'm seeing and knowing is there's no end to how deeply and and deeply you can listen. And listening, you know, when we're really listening fully, listening is present. You can't be thinking and going in here if we're listening. And so um that's something which um as I listen more and listen to more to my body, and then um have that um just internal and that practice of just slowing down and resting in being, calling it resting in being, resting as being. So as awareness ourselves, the space in which everything arises rises and falls. Um that um can be veiled by a thought or a series of thoughts, and that becomes where most of us, and that's where I've spent a lot of my life, and that's been the work of my the nature of my journey and also what I love to share with others, is is shifting out of the foreground of experience where we spend most, where there's that almost like gravitational pull to our thoughts, our feelings, our sensations, our perceptions, is the the gradual and the falling back out of that foreground into the background is where we then rest in being. We rest as being, we rest as awareness, and that's in what's the um the space in which everything arises and falls. And so that's that's the dance, that's for me, you know, and um the practices that we may do, um meditation and movement and breath, uh, being in nature, all of these ways where we can then just um find that's those are those pathways um which can give us the glimpses and then they can become bigger, and then we can start to stabilize and establish um that grounding, that knowing of who we are, whilst always also being fully in the world. That's for me the real juice of like the edge of how we can be in our fullest power, feeling our freest. So when we're in that complete freedom, we're also we love more. Um, we can we're loving ourselves, we're loving everything and everyone. Um, and then that also means we've got the most power, not the power over others, but the power to impact and do what we want to in the world in the greatest and best way we can. So that's that's the um distillation of what I'm what I'm now seeing and what I want to share and what we're sharing around that with a mixture of practical ways to be in the matrix, and then these deeper ways, which then it becomes just the nature of nature of our being.

SPEAKER_01:

That's um, I want to talk to you about what you're doing right now, but it's just I just wanted to um share a bit of like just a present a current experience for me is over the last few years. Um three and a half years ago, I stopped drinking alcohol and I sort of became realized how um it was like uh trying to fill the empty moments, those points where it is about being in presence, you know, and it's easy to to fill it with something else, reaching for my phone, for example, or you know, yeah, anything to fill those gaps. And I see it with my kids as well. I've noticed it recently, you know, there's this desire never to be bored. Yeah, if I'm not doing anything, then I should be doing something. There's that, and I I don't know if that's a societal thing, but it's like trying to fill this fill that space rather than becoming witness to what's actually happening in that moment. Um, yeah, so I I was just I just thought I'd share that a little bit. Yeah, beautiful kind of my yeah, my current experience and just that witnessing and and yeah, just also stop stopping when I want to reach for the phone or fill the fill the gap with what should I be doing that you know there's an empty moment, and actually just being in presence and you know, my kids are there reading a book or playing, you know, just watching that and finding joy and happiness and and love in that.

SPEAKER_00:

Love it, love it, and that's so it's so beautiful. And yeah, it's it's we can you know we can do a pattern, you know, it's a pattern interrupt, isn't it, where we're just breaking that pattern which um has um yeah been created in in in in the mind and then can become become you know become sticky. And I remember talking about that, I remember I'll say I'll say would say to my children sometimes, well, can you just be bored? Yeah. Well see what happens if you just be bored for a while, what comes out of that? Um, because there can be this resistance or not wanting to even um turn towards something that can feel uncomfortable. Um and when we when we turn towards that and bring it bring it to us, um then and befriend it, bring it, then there's there's a there's a shift in in our being, and out of that boredom become you know comes creativity, comes um a spark, a zing. Yeah. Definitely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I see that with my kids. Like they'll often go towards yeah, creativity if they're in those moments where it's like there's nothing else to do. Um I am just in awe of the fact that you you had this huge experience, you know, near-death experience only just 12 months ago, and that not only have you made an amazing recovery and you've taken a whole bunch of time to really sort of tune in to what you need physically, emotionally, for your wellness, but that you are offering that service to others. How do you come to that decision? How do you find the balance in taking care of yourself after such a huge experience, but also then offering to take essentially take care of others?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, great, great question. So it it does come back for me around listening, and um again, in terms of um with one kidney, um, you know, our kidneys are our our store of energy. And so um in Chinese and Taoist, Taoism and the talk through the a life force coming in through, you know, into the lower dantean, into the kidneys, and then up to the heart and lungs. And so one is I've been really, really tuned to know when I need to rest. And um, I didn't used to. And going back to you, I would just push through, I would, you know, used to drink relatively um amount of coffee, particularly when I was in corporate, I'd be drinking, sometimes be drinking four or five cups a day at one point, and then would scale it back. And finally, that was frying my adrenals. And and so I don't drink coffee any anymore. And a little bit of cacao, that's a beautiful gentle plant medicine, which I still love. But again, some cacao can be a bit like speedy, a bit and and than others. Um, so um, but again, I won't have, whereas before I go, yeah, let's go ceremonial dose, we're gonna go 40, 50 grams, let's go, let's go all in. I'll just have a a gentle, more so there's there's a a tuning in and then a listening. And so I will often, yeah, just have a have a um a cat nap and a and a sleep in the afternoon when I'm if I'm just feeling tired. And then also what we're doing here on our lands, where we're, you know, city people. I did have my parents did have a garden nursery at one point years and years ago. So I had a little bit of experience on land, but this is completely different in Australia in terms of how incredible it is, but the amount of rain and then sunshine and how quickly everything grows, and then everything gets weathered as well, and you have to maintain it and look after it. And I was trying to do all of that as well when we first got here, and upskill and then grow our own food, um, and then want to build a retreat space and where we can where we can start to hold space and and support others and share the things we love and have impacted us. But I was trying to do all of those. Um, and so there's been a scaling back of getting help, um, getting people um to come and support or you know aligned, and then we we have travelers, international workaways um that are traveling that can come and stay and share what what we're doing with what we're doing, and and that that's something that's really made a difference. And so that um tuned in to make sure that I'm honoring my body and listening, and then um, yeah, there's this calling to be of service, to how can I support others in this world that's seemingly becoming even more chaotic and polarized, um, to bring people into balance to you know, so they find their center, they recognize and know their true nature. So, you know, they can um firstly accept and you know know that they can't control everything, but you can um be in the world with with with grace and and love, and our energy and our presence will impact the world and others, you know, and so that's a calling to say, well, I yeah, and sure we're still on a journey of finding the right rhythms for that in terms of how we share space and also how people get to know about what we're doing. I've been a little bit hermited, you know, and sort of almost reclusive in a way, in terms of getting out, and even in our local community, it's only now we're starting to um meet and share a bit more and connect with people. And so there's that energy of saying, This is you know, you were given a second chance, James. You know, there was you almost went. Um and there's one thing I know we haven't spoken, and it's and I don't and I I don't know how much of your audience and listeners know about the gene keys. Um but in in the um gene keys, I my my pearl, this you know, my biggest contribution to the world, this sphere, this archetype is NG is is Gene Key 48. Um I remember listening to Richard talking on a on an audio of that gene key and saying that um one of the things with that that key is around um the the gift is resourcefulness. And I see that I've done all of these different um explorations and have all of these different practical tools and knowing and resources. And he said to me, I'm gonna listen to me, he said, and if you don't start sharing these and just sit behind your your screen, you might actually get really, really ill. And I'm like, fucking hell, what is that? So I better get out and trying to yeah, um just um support a corporation making and that corporation, although they were doing some really good things, they were also very focused on profit first. And I want a more conscious world, which is people, planet, and profit. Yeah, and so that's a driver to then share and work with um leaders and people in transition and um to support them on their journey and and and to then yeah, this world it's a this place is so precious um that we need to look after it and we need to look after each other. And so that's community and connection, and um that then makes it like okay, I need to get out of my little shell, and and um, and yeah, and that's where we that brings us here today.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow, that's very interesting. Um, with the 48 as well, because it's my um uh it's my oh god, my brain's a little bit fried. Um you've got life's work, and then the next one.

SPEAKER_00:

Biggest challenge. My biggest challenge.

SPEAKER_01:

Is it what's the oh my evolution? Yeah, my evolution is 48.

SPEAKER_00:

So you you will know here.

SPEAKER_01:

So the sun is the sun, yeah. I totally recognize that energy, and the sun is transiting over 48 right now. Yeah, it's in the 48. So I've been read I was reading about it just just yesterday because I I uh am very familiar with the shadow as well of inadequacy. Not being good enough, not being ready, wanting to learn more before I share, all of those things. But there's that, and and it has been a big um, yeah, a big one for me as well, resourcefulness, sharing resources, and that's really what this podcast is about. And I've also got the 45, which talks of sharing resources, so um, yeah, it's a it's a I also have the 45, that's my my irradiance. Oh, there you go. So, yeah, it it does feel very um very important, and you put it beautifully with the with the work you're doing, and and um I was gonna ask you as we sort of come to a close about purpose, and you and I have both drawn wisdom from the gene keys, and and it's it's almost like an affirmation to to see it written in your profile, isn't it? But um yeah, I don't know what I was gonna say. Okay, here's a little aside for you. I didn't tell you, I didn't tell you this at the beginning of our conversation, but um last night I went to a Taylor Swift tribute with my kids in Colts Harper. We had a little bit of a late night, so which we don't normally do, so my brain just went it just went silly, but yes, I've uh the jean keys are um an amazing tool to to guide us as well.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yeah, and they've yeah, and they've been yeah, they're a beautiful part of shadow work and a gentle part of cleaning up, and so much of that uh transmission is yeah, echoed in my life and supported me moving and yeah, embracing my shadows and and seeing um the gifts and and the those highest expressions. And so there are moments where you know back your question, I because I was thinking reflecting on this, because with with AI, um there's now so much knowledge. When you're talking to AI, they know more knowledge than you, than me. There's no more, but there's a difference between knowledge and and wisdom. Yeah, and so that for me is how you know when we um find our and and the ways we find our ways into presence, into balance, into our center, that's a space where wisdom can flow that's beyond the intellect, beyond the knowledge. Um and we all have that, we all have that um capacity, capability. You know, it's the same with me with doing all of these Taoist practices um to make the body like water, to move like an octopus, like a jellyfish. Well, all Taoist alchemy is is the um conscious cultivation of energy to become a master of energy. And and we can also consciously, through the indirect path, the practices of movement and breath um and all of those other beautiful practices that can bring us into presence. And then I said the direct path, I love the um vedantic part where we turn away and we fall out of the foreground into the background. And in that space, that's where wisdom resides. It's you know, and and then that can also flow to allow us then to navigate even greater uncertainty in the world. Um, so that's the the invitation to play to play with that and um yeah, in in our presence in our in our listening will transform our relationships and um the world as well as as that deepens rather than um falling into the distractions and yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I think that's a really great um place to sort of bring our conversation to a close because in the world of internet and being able to access so much information, um we we feel like we need to be doing so much more and that the small things that we do in our everyday lives don't matter, but in fact they do. That's where the most magic happens, really. It's not with yeah, it's it's in those it's in those daily routines, those connections with other people in your in your surroundings that can have that knock-on effect. It's not kind of like achieving something um based on what you see on the internet.

SPEAKER_00:

Agreed, agreed, agreed. And we don't we uh never underestimate the power of a smile and a conversation, and and as more of us this step you know stabilise and our in presence more, we listen more, we connect more deeply, um, that makes a difference. It will impact the world, you know, when we step out of of just being in the phone and the polarity and what's the division that can be that's being sort of almost um accelerated. accelerated through some of the the news and the you know the media um yeah it's um yeah i I'm seeing seeing that that um yeah our our presence and the little things make it make such a difference yeah is there anything else you want to add before we close James I well I've loved the conversation with Nina Dean I'm conscious of myself spoke a lot a lot I can't I love listening to his store the story so thank you and so yeah well I'm just yeah I'm really grateful to have a conversation I know if if you're curious about what we're doing here um please have a look look us up um oasis within dot com dot au vision is also to have some online um resources and content as we come into the future so you don't have to just travel to our our beautiful paradise um on the Midnorth coast. And so there's that from that aspect but also yeah hopefully you've heard something that will make you curious to um to keep to keep looking and and yeah the one thing I'd say is um our our listening bringing your best listening to every every connection the deeper you listen the the the deeper the connection and and um and that's something simple that we can exercise and build on by just remembering that we can control the level of our listening and bring our highest listening and that will transform um relationships just with that simple practice.

SPEAKER_01:

Beautiful James thank you so much for joining me hey there rebel thank you for listening to this episode of the Midlife Rebel Podcast if you'd like to support the show you can buy me a coffee by going to buy me a coffee forward slash midlife rebel podcast. Thanks for listening